Marge Simpson in: Screaming Yellow Honkers
Season 10 / Episode 15

( bell ringing )

( playing the blues )

( honking horn )

D-OHH!

( screams )

♪ WE'RE PROUD TO BE TEACHERS ♪

♪ KNOWLEDGE IS OUR GAME ♪

♪ BUT WE'D SELL OUR MOTHERS ♪

♪ FOR 15 MINUTES OF...

( singing to "Fame" ) ♪ FAME! ♪

♪ NOT GONNA TEACH FOREVER ♪

♪ GONNA GIVE SHOW BIZ A TRY ♪

♪ TRY! ♪

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE

BUT THIS BOTH SUCKS AND BLOWS.

( "Shave and a Haircut" playing )

♪ THAT'S FAME! ♪

( booing and hissing )

( chuckling )

WHEW! MERCY!

GOOD EVENING.

OUR OLD FRIEND NOAH WEBSTER

DEFINES LAUGHTER AS THE ACT OR SOUND OF LAUGHING.

Nelson: HA-HA!

( chuckling ): WELL-ILLUSTRATED, NELSON.

AND NOW FASTEN YOUR FUNNY BONES FOR GROUNDSKEEPER--

OH, OR SHOULD I SAY "GRINSKEEPER"?--

NO, I'M SORRY. GROUNDSKEEPER WAS CORRECT...

WILLIE!

( playing "My Bonnie" )

HOW MANY OF YE HAIL FROM THE FAIR CITY OF EDINBURGH?

SO, HAVE YOU NOTICED

HOW NORTH EDINBURGH GOLFERS PUTT LIKE THIS

AND SOUTH EDINBURGH GOLFERS PUTT LIKE THIS?

EH?

( bagpipe honking ): EH?

OH, I SEE.

WILLIE'S NOT FUNNY UNLESS HE'S DOWN ON HIS KNEES

SCOOPING UP YOUR LITTLE BRATS' PUKE!

( laughing )

THANK YOU. YOU'VE BEEN GREAT.

( mid-tempo jazz bass intro )

♪ YOU GIVE ME FEVER ♪

( pop )

♪ WHEN YOU TOUCH ME ♪

♪ FEVER WHEN YOU HOLD ME TIGHT ♪

( pop )

♪ FEVER! ♪

♪ HA! ♪

KILL ME. ( popping )

WELL, SEYMOUR, IT SEEMS WE'VE PUT TOGETHER A BASEBALL TEAM

AND I WAS WONDERING, WHO'S ON FIRST?

YES, NOT THE PRONOUN BUT RATHER A PLAYER

WITH THE UNLIKELY NAME OF "WHO" IS ON FIRST.

YES, WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT, SEYMOUR.

WE'VE BEEN OUT HERE SIX SECONDS.

YOU'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO BLOW THE ROUTINE.

( muttering ): SEXLESS FREAK.

( chuckling )

WELL, IT SEEMS AS THOUGH WE'RE JUST ABOUT AT THE HALFWAY POINT.

SO WHY DON'T WE CALL IT INTERMISSION?

EXCUSE ME. OUT OF THE WAY. ( general conversation )

OH! DON'T GO TOO FAR.

IF YOU LIKE CAFETERIA WORKERS

IN BEATLE WIGS WITH TENNIS RACQUET GUITARS

YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THE SECOND HALF.

OH, NO! NO!

YOU DRIVE. I EAT.

DAD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR THOSE SNACKS.

I SAW KRABAPPEL'S BUTT. I PAID.

WHOOPSIE.

HMM. THIS COULD TAKE A MINUTE.

THERE'S AN OPENING, MOM.

I DON'T KNOW.

I-I HATE TO CHANGE LANES ONCE I GET GOING.

THAT'S REALLY FOR RACE CAR DRIVERS.

MOM, TO YOUR LEFT.

HE'S LETTING YOU IN. GO!

COME ON, MOM! GUN IT, WOMAN.

NO, NO. AS SOON AS I GET OVER

THAT LANE WILL STOP MOVING.

ERMA BOMBECK SAID SO, AND DAVE BARRY AGREES.

OH! YOU SUCK, MARGE.

( engine roaring )

( honking ) COME ON, MOVE IT, YOU CLOWNS!

WHAT IN BLAZES...?

SO LONG, SCHLUBS!

WOW. DID YOU SEE THAT THING, MARGE?

SO POWERFUL, SO COMMANDING.

SO FORCEFUL AND RAW.

IT DIDN'T ASK. IT JUST TOOK.

( over P.A. system ): ♪ Canyonero ♪

♪ Canyonero ♪

( moaning )

OH, CANYONERO...

( chuckling )

GO AHEAD. DROOL ALL YOU WANT.

YOU CAN'T HURT THAT FINISH.

NOW, RAINWATER, THAT'LL STRIP IT RIGHT OFF...

AH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

COME ON, GIL.

HEY, A RED ONE!

( laughing )

CAN I BUY THAT? PLEASE?

WELL, IF YOU-YOU... DAH... WHA-REALLY?!

WOW! HA! HOT DOG! A SALE!

I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, GIL.

NO, WAIT! AH, NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE MY SALE.

MY WIFE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME

IF I DON'T START BRINGING IN THE GREEN.

COME ON. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, STAN. I'M BEGGING YOU.

LOOK AT ME. I'M BEGGING YOU, STAN.

MM-HMM. LET'S GO WRITE THIS UP SHALL WE?