This Little Wiggy
Season 9 / Episode 18

( bell ringing)

( whistle blowing)

( playing the blues)

( honking horn)

D-OHH!

( screams)

NOW, WHOSE CALCULATOR CAN TELL ME

WHAT SEVEN TIMES EIGHT IS?

OH! OH! OH! LOW BATTERY?

MMM... WHATEVER.

ATTENTION, CHILDREN.

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF... THE DOORWAY!

WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL VISITOR TODAY.

BUT HE'S NO ORDINARY VISITOR.

IN FACT, UH... YOU MIGHT SAY...

HE'S A ROBOT. WE SAW HIM ON THE WAY IN.

THANK YOU, BART.

KIDS, THIS IS ROBBY THE AUTOMATON.

GREETINGS, EARTH CHILDREN.

EARTH.

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO TOUCH A STAR?

COOL.

OR WHICH OF THE THREE STOOGES HAD THE HEAVIEST BRAIN?

HMM. LARRY, 3.2 KILOGRAMS.

FASCINATING.

( slapping)

THE ANSWERS TO THESE AND SIMILAR QUESTIONS

A HANDS-ON LEARNING ENVIRONMENT

OPENING THIS SATURDAY.

NO, KID! DON'T!

( screams)

COMMAND LINK SEVERED.

DEFAULT SETTING.

CRUSH. KILL.

DESTROY.

DON'T. DON'T.

CHILDREN, HELP!

HE'S KILLING ME!

( all cheering)

WHAT A WHIMSICAL BUILDING.

WHO SAYS SCIENCE CAN'T BE FUN?

ME. I SMELL A MUSEUM.

YEAH. GOOD THINGS DON'T END WITH "EUM."

THEY END WITH "MANIA" OR "TERIA."

WILL THERE BE BEER?

Welcome to the Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure.

"Welcome To Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?"

While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders

your car will unfortunately be subject to repeated break-ins..

WHAT DID HE SAY? WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?

All: WOW!

Both: OH!

( yelling)

( ripping sounds)

AND THE FLOOR WAS DONATED BY AMERICAN SUPERBALL.

HEY, I'M GONNA GO TOSS THE VIRTUAL SALAD.

I WANT TO READ THE GIANT BOOK.

I'M GOING TO TRY THE SEX EDUCATION COMPUTER.

COME ON, MAGGIE.

LET'S TRY AND FIND THE ENORMOUS PENDULUM.

WHOA!

WAIT THERE.

AH... THE SECTION NOW ILLUMINATED

IS THE FLOATING-POINT UNIT

ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITE UNITS.

OH, WOW! GEEZ!

OH. WELL!

HOW DO YOU GET THIS THING TO PLAY BLACKJACK?

STOP THAT. YOU'RE HURTING IT.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

WELL...

BORING.

AM I ON THE INTERNET?

NO. YOU CAN ONLY ACCESS...

BORING. WHAT'S THAT FIRE FOR?

AT AN ALARMING SPEED!

NO MORE PICTURES!

AH! EHH!

OVULATE, DAMN YOU!

( buzzer sounds)

OH.

HEY, BABY, REMEMBER ME?

WHOA! THIS WHOLE PLANET IS LIKE ONE BIG SKATE PARK.

LOOK OUT, RALPH!

WHOA!

( makes static sound)

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A BOOGER.

YEAH. BLAST OFF!

I KNOW YOU. MY DADDY TOOK YOUR BEER.

WOW! THE BABY CAN TALK.

I AM NOT A BABY.

TELL IT TO THE EAR, BABY.

( chuckling)

GOOD ONE, GUYS.

SIMPSON, GO KISS THE VIRTUAL ASS.

OH, POOR LITTLE BOY.

OH, NO. HE'LL BE FINE.

INTO THIS OR THAT.

( barking)

( engine sounds)

( barking)

THAT'S A DOG HE MADE UP

I TELL YOU, THAT DOG HAS HAD SOME AMAZING ADVENTURES.

A LOT OF IMAGINATION.

ARE ALL OVER HIM.

MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME REAL FRIENDS.

SURE. WE'D ALL LOVE SOME REAL FRIENDS, MARGE

BUT WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING?

HELLO, RALPH.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE