( bell ringing)

D-OHH!

( screams)

( Homer screams)

THANKS FOR LETTING ME SKIP SCHOOL

TO SEE THE TEAM COME BACK FROM THE CHAMPIONSHIP, DAD.

I ALWAYS SAY A BOY COULD LEARN MORE AT AN AIRPORT

THAN HE CAN AT ANY SCHOOL.

HEY, I NEED TO SEE YOUR CLAIM CHECKS

FOR THAT LUGGAGE.

OH, OF COURSE.

I HAVE IT RIGHT... HERE!

WHOA!

I'LL NEED TO SEE YOURS, TOO.

YOU... GOT IT!

OH!

I'LL... TAKE... YOUR WORD FOR IT.

YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR JOB!

( boys laughing)

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING BY ROBERT LUDLUM?

GET OUT.

LOOK AT THE OUTRAGEOUS MARKUP.

YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD

I SALUTE YOU!

I JUST GOT A BUNCH OF FRUITY EASTER EGGS.

EW! ANOTHER LIVER TRANSPLANT!

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN!

YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASY, LITTLE FELLA.

HAVE YOU HEARD OF KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS?

THIS, BART, IS A CRAZY MAN.

DO UNTO OTHERS

AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.

RIGHT. THAT'LL WORK.

A NEW AND BETTER LIFE AWAITS YOU

ON OUR DISTANT HOME PLANET BLISSTONIA.

HMM...

MAKES SENSE.

WE'RE HAVING A FREE GET-ACQUAINTED SESSION

AT OUR RESORT THIS WEEKEND.

HOW MUCH IS THIS FREE RESORT WEEKEND?

IT'S FREE.

AND WHEN IS THIS WEEKEND?

IT'S THIS WEEKEND.

UH-HUH. AND HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

UM... IT'S FREE.

I SEE. AND WHEN IS IT?

IT'S THIS WEEKEND.

AND WHAT ARE YOU CHARGING FOR THIS FREE WEEKEND?

DAD, THE TEAM'S ARRIVING!

IT'S FREE, RIGHT?

HEY, LOOK!

THERE'S A BIG CROWD TO WELCOME US BACK

EVEN THOUGH WE LOST.

I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT

YOU LOSER! YOU CAN'T CATCH A FOOTBALL?!

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN CATCH A ROCK!

( crowd yelling)

( glass shattering)

( gulping and slurping)

HMM, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THESE MOVEMENTARIANS.

ARE THEY SOME KIND OF CHURCH?

WHO CARES WHAT IT IS?

THE POINT IS, THESE ARE DECENT, GENEROUS PEOPLE

THAT I CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF.

BUT WHAT IF THEY TRY TO TALK US INTO SOMETHING?

MARGE, MARGE, MARGE.

REMEMBER WHEN THOSE SMOOTH-TALKING GUYS

TRIED TO SELL ME A TIMESHARE VACATION CONDO?

YOU BOUGHT FOUR OF THEM.

THANK GOD THE CHECK BOUNCED.

I BEAT THE SYSTEM.

WATCH YOURSELF, DAD.

YOU'RE THE HIGHLY SUGGESTIBLE TYPE.

YES, I AM THE HIGHLY SUGGESTIBLE TYPE.

Both: WELCOME, BROTHER.

( honking horn)

OUT OF MY WAY, JERKASS!

( to Batman TV theme): ♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, FISHING ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, FISHING ♪

♪ FISHING, FISHING... ♪

HI. HOW ARE Y...?

♪ FISHING. ♪

IT CERTAINLY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

WE SHOULD THANK THE LEADER.

WHO THE HELL IS THAT, SOME LEADER?

YES. HE'S THE HEAD OF OUR PERFECT FAMILY

AND WHEN OUR GALACTIC VEHICLE IS COMPLETE

HE WILL TAKE US TO OUR NEW HOME, BLISSTONIA.

COME CHAT WITH US ABOUT THE LEADER

AT THE WELCOME CENTER.

WILL THERE BE BEER?

BEER IS NOT ALLOWED.

HOMER NO FUNCTION BEER WELL WITHOUT.

WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE BEER

OR COMPLETE AND UTTER CONTENTMENT?

WHAT KIND OF BEER?

THE LEADER KNOWS HOW MISERABLE

YOU, MARGE, LISA, BART, AND MAGGIE ARE.

REALLY? I'M SURPRISED ABOUT MAGGIE.

JUST COME AND WATCH OUR ORIENTATION FILM.

YOU'RE FREE TO LEAVE AT ANY TIME.

WOW, A FREE MOVIE! THANKS!

OUT OF MY WAY, JERKASS!

Man: Once we collect enough money for fuel

our leader will throw open the doors of the Forbidden Barn

where we will board our intergalactic vehicle--

rows one through 30 first.

Upon our arrival, we will begin

our new, perfect lives on Blisstonia

well-known for its high levels of bliss.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

BUT THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY WINNING ME OVER

WITH THESE LOUSY PRODUCTION VALUES HERE.

I'M GOING TO SLIP OUT.

You're free to leave whenever you want

but would you mind telling us why?

OH, I JUST DIDN'T, UH...

I DIDN'T THINK, UH, UM...

OH, IT'S, IT'S... IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

MAN, THIS WHOLE PLACE

PUFFS ON THE WACKY TOBACCY.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

Going somewhere?

Though you're free to do so.

UH...

( nervous chuckle)

NO. JUST REARRANGING MY UNDERWEAR.

AH, THERE IT IS.

When you surrender yourself to the Movementarians

you are guaranteed a perfect life

of serenity, love, and loving serenity.

Not a guarantee.

LOVING SERENITY.

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

I LOVE THE LEADER.

THE LEADER IS PERFECT.

WAIT. I'M CONFUSED ABOUT THE MOVIE.

SO, THE COPS KNEW

THAT INTERNAL AFFAIRS WAS SETTING THEM UP?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THAT IN THERE.

WHEN I GET BORED, I MAKE UP MY OWN MOVIE.

I HAVE A VERY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN.

BUT OUR POINT IS VERY SIMPLE.

YOU SEE, WHEN...

OH, LOOK, A BIRD!

( goofy giggling)

LOOK AT THAT!

HOW CUTE!

"THE CIRCLE OF JUDGMENT"

NEVER FAILS TO DESTROY THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.

THEN HE'LL BE OURS TO MOLD.

LET THE JUDGMENT BEGIN!

I'LL GET THE BALL ROLLING.

YOU'RE A FAT IDIOT.

YEAH, LOSE SOME WEIGHT!

( all shouting assent)

FATSO!

MORON!

WAY ABOVE NORMAL WEIGHT.

OH, YEAH, I GUESS I COULD LOSE A FEW POUNDS

AND I CAN BE KIND OF THICK SOMETIMES.

( chuckling)

YOU'VE FAILED AT EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER TRIED.

WHOA. YOU'VE GOT MY NUMBER

ON THAT ONE, BUDDY.

THIS IS A SMART GROUP.

AND YOUR STINK BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MOE.

( sniffing)

OH. MY MISTAKE.

( sighing)

WHY ISN'T OUR LOW-PROTEIN GRUEL

WEARING DOWN HIS RESISTANCE

LIKE ALL THE OTHERS?

IT DOESN'T WEAR DOWN YOUR RESISTANCE

IF YOU EAT A WHOLE MONTH'S SUPPLY.

HE EVEN ATE MINE!

( gulping and slurping)

YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT, BONY?

( muttering)

LET'S TRY THE CHANT.

EVERYONE LOVES A DRONING, REPETITIVE CHANT.

ATTENTION, EVERYONE.

LET'S ALL GIVE THANKS TO THE LEADER

FOR THIS GLORIOUS DAY.

THE LEADER IS GOOD, THE LEADER IS GREAT

WE SURRENDER OUR WILL AS OF THIS DATE.

All: THE LEADER IS GOOD, THE LEADER IS GREAT

WE SURRENDER OUR WILL AS OF THIS DATE.

( gulping and slurping)

IT'S NO USE.

HE'S OBVIOUSLY THE MOST POWERFUL MIND

WE'VE EVER DEALT WITH.

OR...

♪ ( to Batman TV theme) NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, LEADER ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, LEADER ♪

All: ♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, LEADER ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, LEADER ♪

♪ LEADER ♪

♪ LEADER ♪

♪ BATMAN! ♪ ♪ LEADER. ♪

I MEAN, ♪ LEADER! ♪

I LOVE THE LEADER!

YOU WHAT?!

COME AGAIN, MARGE?

YOU WHAT?!

I'VE JOINED THE MOVEMENTARIANS

AND SO HAVE ALL OF YOU.

Marge: WE WHAT?

ALL I HAD TO GIVE THEM WAS

OUR LIFE SAVINGS, THE DEED TO THE HOUSE

AND A COMMITMENT OF TEN TRILLION YEARS OF LABOR.

I CAN'T GO ALONG WITH THIS, HOMER.

WHEN I JOIN AN UNDERGROUND CULT

I EXPECT A LITTLE SUPPORT FROM MY FAMILY.

DAD, DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED?

I HAVE NOT BEEN BRAINWASHED.

( monotone): KILL THE GIRL.

KILL THE GIRL.

HOMER!

WHAT DID I SAY?

CHURCH, CULT. CULT, CHURCH.

WE GET BORED SOMEPLACE EVERY SUNDAY.

DOES THIS REALLY CHANGE OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVES?

OF COURSE NOT, EXCEPT THAT WE'RE ALL MOVING

TO THE MOVEMENTARIAN AGRICULTURAL COMPOUND

TO BE NEAR THE LEADER AND SERVE HIM.

I'M NOT LEAVING MY HOME!

OH, YES, YOU ARE.

I'M AFRAID IT'S OUR HOME NOW.

THIS HOUSE WILL BECOME

THE NEW LOCAL WELCOME CENTER

FOR THIS DISTRICT.

AND IT DIDN'T COST US A DIME.

SPRINGFIELD HAS BEEN OVERRUN

BY A STRANGE AND ALMOST CERTAINLY EVIL SECT

CALLING THEMSELVES THE "MOVEMENTARIANS."

IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR HOME AND ALL YOUR MONEY

THE LEADER OF THIS WAY-OUT AND WRONG RELIGION

CLAIMS HE'LL TAKE BELIEVERS AWAY ON HIS SPACESHIP

TO THE PLANET BLISSTONIA.

EXCUSE MY EDITORIAL LAUGH.

( laughing)

BUT...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

I'VE JUST LEARNED OF A CHANGE IN THIS STATION'S MANAGEMENT.

WELCOME, MOVEMENTARIANS.

CONTINUE TO IMPROVE OUR LIVES.

I LOVE YOU, PERFECT LEADER

AND NEW C.E.O. OF KBBO BROADCASTING.

HOMER SIMPSON, YOUR FAMILY WILL BE HOUSED HERE

FOR THE FIRST 100,000 YEARS, THEN SOMETHING

MIGHT OPEN UP IN A DOUBLE.

HA! WHY EVEN UNPACK?

( growls)

DAD AND THESE OTHER PEOPLE

ARE OBVIOUSLY THE PRODUCTS OF MENTAL CONDITIONING.

MAYBE IT'LL WEAR OFF

LIKE HIS INTEREST IN C.B. RADIO.

THAT'S A NEGATORY, GOOD BUDDY.

I KINDA THINK IT'S COOL.

JUST PRETEND YOU'RE IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE.

BESIDES, THIS IS JUST ANOTHER PLACE

FOR ME TO WREAK MY SPECIAL BRAND OF HYSTERICAL HAVOC.

THESE RUBES AND ROBES

HAVEN'T MET THE LIKES OF BART SIMPSON BEFORE.

( evil laughter)

( monotone): I LOVE THE LEADER.

OF COURSE YOU DO.

THIS SO-CALLED "NEW RELIGION"

IS NOTHING BUT A PACK OF WEIRD RITUALS AND CHANTS

DESIGNED TO TAKE AWAY THE MONEY OF FOOLS.

LET US SAY THE LORD'S PRAYER 40 TIMES

BUT FIRST LET'S PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE.

LOOKS LIKE SLIM PICKIN'S

TODAY, REVEREND.

OH, LORD.

UH, TRY THE EMERGENCY PLATE, NED.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING

TO DO IT.

SEE, MARGE? OUR LIVES ARE SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

Man: You two, stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest.

WHEN WE GOT MARRIED

YOU PROMISED ME MY HARVESTING DAYS

WERE OVER.

( all murmuring)

( gasps)

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

LOOK!

THE FORBIDDEN BARN OPENS.

( woman gasps)

Woman: HE'S COMING.

THE LEADER'S COMING. I SEE THE LEADER.

OH, BOY, WE GET TO SEE THE LEADER PASS BY.

WE TOIL IN THE FIELDS

AND HE RIDES AROUND IN A ROLLS ROYCE?

IT WOULD BE NICE IF HE'D BUY AMERICAN

BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I'M COVERED IN THE DUST OF THE LEADER.

HE FAVORS ME!

I AM EVEN DUSTIER-- DUSTIER THAN THOU!

OH, LOOK WHO THE NEW PET IS.

I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY.

SMITHERS, WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD

OF THIS "THE LEADER"?

HE'S AS RICH AND WICKED AS I

BUT HE SEEMS TO ENJOY TAX-EXEMPT STATUS.

ACTUALLY, SIR

WITH OUR CREATIVE BOOKKEEPING

AND CORPORATE LOOPHOLES, WE ONLY PAY

THREE DOLLARS A YEAR.

YOU'RE RIGHT. WE'RE GETTING SCREWED.

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT THIS.

WAIT... YES.

I THINK I KNOW JUST THE THING.

( laughing)

UH, SIR, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME

WHAT YOUR PLAN IS

OR... OR NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

OH, YES, OF COURSE, THE PLAN.

YOU SEE ME AS A GOD, RIGHT, SMITHERS?

ABSOLUTELY, SIR.

YOU'D KNEEL BEFORE ME?

BOY, WOULD I.

YES, UH, THEN I'LL FORM MY OWN RELIGION

WITH ITS OWN SYMBOL.

WE'LL USE

THIS SPECIAL "K."

I BELIEVE THAT'S ALREADY A BREAKFAST CEREAL, SIR.

AND PEOPLE WORSHIP IT?

IN A WAY.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

UH, HOW ABOUT THIS?

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THE SYMBOL TO ME, SIR?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

BEHOLD YOUR NEW GOD--

MR. BURNS.

AHOY, HOY, LOWLY MORTALS.

IN ADDITION TO WORKING FOR ME

YOU MAY NOW PRAISE ME AS YOUR ALMIGHTY.

AMEN, SIR.

MM...

( screaming)

( grunting)

UH.... WE'LL TRY THIS AGAIN TOMORROW.

AH, HE'S ALL RIGHT

BUT HE'S NO BOWL OF SPECIAL K.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED.

BUT, MARGE, WE'RE NOT MASS-MARRIED.

AT LEAST YOU GOT TO CHOOSE YOUR MATE.

WE GOT MATCHED UP ON THE PRINTOUT.

HEY, REMEMBER OUR AGREEMENT.

I'M THE MAN.

YOU'RE THE MAN!

I COULD HAVE DONE A LOT WORSE, MOTHER.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

SO, DO YOU ENJOY COMIC BOOKS?

AND WHO CAN TELL ME WHERE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING COME FROM?

YES, BART?

THE LEADER, MA'AM.

VERY GOOD, BART.

AND WHO INVENTED MORSE CODE?

OH, I SHOULD KNOW THIS ONE.

THE... THE LEADER?

AH, CORRECT AGAIN.

HE'S WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG!

THE WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM IS WRONG!

( screams)

WHAT'S THE MATTER, LISA?

YOU USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD STUDENT.

DON'T YOU WANT TO PLEASE YOUR TEACHERS

AND GET GOOD GRADES?

UH... GRADES?

( to the tune of "This Old Man"): ♪ WE LOVE HIM, HE LOVES WE ♪

♪ WE'RE THE LEADER'S FAMILY. ♪

THESE LIMA BEANS ARE EVEN BETTER

THAN THE ONES WE HAD FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH.

OH! A LIMA BEAN THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE THE LEADER.

I'LL PUT IT WITH THE OTHERS.

HOMER, YOU KNOW I ALWAYS TRY

TO PUT THE BEST FACE ON EVERYTHING