( bell ringing)

( whistle blows)

( playing the blues)

D-ohh!

( screams)

( to tune of "Hooray for Hollywood") ♪ I work for Monty Burns ♪

♪ Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh Monty Burns ♪

Mr. Smithers, may we offer you a ride to work?

( chuckling): No, thank you.

( humming)

We're from Globex Corporation.

We'd like to talk to you about

an exciting employment opportunity

in our nuclear division.

Flattered, but spoken for.

We're prepared to offer you an impressive salary

plus health benefits for you and your life partner.

The answer is no.

What's wrong with this country?

Can't a man walk down the street

without being offered a job?

( sighs)

We'll have to go to the next most senior man at the plant.

Oh, here we are.

Ten years' experience.

His name is...

Marge, I got a new job!

It's with Globex Corporation.

I get more money plus health benefits

for me and my life partner.

And, they'll move us and give us a nice house and liv--

Move us?

It's in Cypress Creek, upstate somewhere.

You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?

Of course not.

I wouldn't do that.

Why not?

We have roots here, Homer.

We have friends and family

and library cards.

Bart's lawyer is here.

But Marge, this is a chance for me

to fulfill my lifelong dream.

What lifelong dream?

Promise not to laugh?

I always wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys.

( laughing)

I'm sorry, Dad.

I just find that very cute.

Homer, I don't want to leave Springfield.

I've dug myself into a happy little rut here

and I'm not about to hoist myself out of it.

Just bring the rut with you, honey.

Come on, take a look.

Let's watch something else.

Homer, you're trying to talk us into moving to this place.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Let's watch this.

Woman: Look at this place.

Somebody ought to build a town that works.

Announcer 1: Somebody did.

It's called Cypress Creek--

A planned community

designed for the workers of the Globex Corporation.

Cypress Creek-- where dreams come true.

Announcer 2: Your dreams may vary from those

of Globex Corporation, its subsidiaries and shareholders.

Well, what do you think of me

and Cypress Creek now, Marge?

It does seem nicer than Springfield.

Yeah, did you notice how the people weren't shoving

or knocking each other down?

I've never been to a place like that before.

Me neither.

Well, we could use the extra money

and this house is falling apart.

All right.

( cheering)

Oh, wow! Windows.

I don't think I can afford this place.

( doorbell rings)

Hello. I am not interested in buying the house

but I would like to use your rest room,

flip through your magazines

rearrange your carefully shelved items

and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner.

Ha! Now you know how it feels!

Thank you. Come again.

We'll never sell this rotten dump.

A little help here.

Even if we sell the house

we still don't come close to paying off the mortgage.

Hey. Hey.

Uh... Homer, ah...

about those things you borrowed from me over the years...

You know, the TV trays, the power sander

the downstairs bathtub...

You going to be needing those things in Cypress Creek?

Yes.

Oh, uh...

Okily dokily...

Okily dokily.

Bye-diddly-I.

So long.

God bless you.

See ya. Good-bye.

Bye-bye, Homer.

Take care.

Adios. So long.

Fare thee well.

Arr. Bon voyage.

Toodle-oo.

So long.

Bye-bye. Ta-ta.

Bye, everybody. Bye-bye.

Sayonara, dudes. So long.

All: Bye-bye!

Bye-bye, now.

Bye.

See ya. Bye. Bye-bye.

Ha, ha.

I'm gonna miss Springfield.

This town's been awfully good to us.

No, it hasn't, Dad.

That's why we're leaving.

Oh, yeah.

So long, stinktown!

It says here

one of these giant redwood trees

can provide enough sawdust to cover

an entire day's worth of vomit at Disneyland.

All: Ooh.

Ahh.

Ohh.

Ooh.

Here we are:

15201 Maple Systems Road--

Our new home.

( whistles)

I call this room.

( knocking)

I am here to welcome you

on behalf of the President of the Globex Corporation.

Me.

Try the papayas.

They're juicy and full of papayine.

Makes you strong like Popeye.

Popeye, papayine.

Popeye, papayine.

See? Same thing. Same... ah, forget it.

How are you? I'm Hank Scorpio.

Wow, my boss.

Don't call me that word.

I don't like things that elevate me

above the other people.

I'm just like you.

Aw sure, I come later in the day,

I get paid a lot more

and I take longer vacations,

but I don't like the word "boss."

Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Okay.

Look in your closet. There's a pair for you.

Don't like them? Then neither do I. Get the hell out of here!

Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe?

Yes, once.

Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us.

I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.

We don't have bums in our town Marge, and if we did, they wouldn't rush.

They'd be allowed to go at their own pace.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a fun run.

See you at work tomorrow.

Although I don't really like to call it work.

Whoa.

Okay, the oven is cleaning itself

the Autovac's on dirt patrol

and Maggie's enjoying her swing-a-majig.

( whimpering)

I can't believe it.

I've done all my housework, and it's only 9:30.

Well, better go upstairs

and make sure the beds are still made.

You will notice, my new best friend

that we are pretty casual around here.

Yes, sir. I will notice that.

Very casual, Mr. Scorpion.

Don't call me "Mr. Scorpion."

It's "Mr. Scorpio," but don't call me that, either.

Call me Hank.

Say, before we continue our tour

would you mind hanging my coat

up on the wall, please?

Homer: Hmm... mm-mm, lets see um... oh, no.

Well, uh...

( laughing)

Relax, Homer.

At Globex, we don't believe in walls.

Matter of fact, I didn't even

give you my coat.

Wow.

Having a place like this

has always been my dream, Homer.

What's your dream?

Uh, to work for you?

Don't do that.

My butt is for sitting, not for kissing.

Now you tell me the truth.

What's your real dream?

Your real dream!

Um, someday, I'd... like to own the Dallas Cowboys.

I bet people laughed at you when you told 'em that dream.

Yeah. Homer, don't give up.

They laughed at me

the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat.

I was the first wealthy man in America

to ever do that.

Now they all do it.

Did you ever hear of Mike Milken?

Ye... no.

Hi there. Hey, how you doing?

Now Homer, these gentlemen here will be your eyes and your ears

and should the need arise, they'll fill in

for any other part of your body.

Your job will be to manage and motivate them.

Give them the benefit of your years of experience.

Don't worry, that won't take long.

The key to motivation is trust.

Let me show you what I mean.

I want you to close your eyes and fall backwards, and I'll catch you.

That's gonna show you what trust is all about. Ready?

Alright. Three, two...

( phone ringing) One second.

Hello? D-ohh!

Oh my God, a guy's on the floor.

That was a phone call. Don't chalk that up to mistrust, now.

Yes? What happened?

When did that happen? How much of it?

Oh my goodness, I'll be right up.

Homer, I got to go upstairs. There's a problem.

Somebody ate part of my lunch.

I'm gonna leave everything to you.

We're on a tight schedule.

You keep them motivated.

Are you guys working?

Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson.

Could you, um, work any harder than this?

Sure thing, boss.

Hey, call me Homer.

( making armpit noises)

You got a fresh sound.

It will play well at this school.

Hey Bart, do you have a best friend yet?

'Cause I've been looking for someone to boss me around.

Okay, folks

let's do it to it.

( chuckling)

Grammar, that is.

Uh, everybody write down this sentence

and circle the nouns.

Bart, as the newest addition to our menagerie

you have the honors.

Um... uh...

Well, let's start by reading the sentence.

"Two wintim

amd jawwy wirt... "

( armpit noise)

So, you never learned cursive?

Um, well, I know hell and damn and bit...

Cursive handwriting, script.

Do you know the multiplication tables?

Long division?

I know of them.

You know, Bart, I think you'd profit

from a more remedial environment.

And I'm sure you'll feel right at home in...

the Leg-Up Program.

( gasps)

( groans)

Guess I can't complain.

Everything's perfect here.

So, what are you in for?

I moved here from Canada, and they think I'm slow, eh?

I fell off the jungle gym

and when I woke up, I was in here.

I start fires.

Okay, now, everyone take out your safety pencil

and a circle of paper.

This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "a."

Let me get this straight.

We're behind the rest of our class

and we're going to catch up to them by going slower than they are?

Cuckoo.

All: Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo...

Stop it. Stop it!

Warren! Melvin! Gary! Dot! Gordy!

Look, lady

I'm supposed to be in the fourth grade.

Sounds to me like someone's got a case of "the s'pose'das."

( groans)

( hard slap) Warren!

Wild flowers!

We don't have you in Springfield.

( chittering)

Hello, Mr. Chipmunk.

You're a northern reticulated chipmunk.

Yes, you are.

You are so reticulated.

Hi, Mrs. Owl.

You're out kind of early.

♪ La-la-la, la-la... ♪

( hooting)

Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent

and it's all because of my motivational techniques

like doughnuts

and the possibility of more doughnuts to come.

I knew you'd do well, Homer.

Sports collectibles.

Wow, a baseball made out of Secretariat.

( gasping)

Tom Landry's hat, and it's autographed.

"To Berman's Dry Cleaning.

Best wishes, Tom Landry."

Why don't you

buy it?

I can't buy that.

Only management-type guys with big salaries like me

can afford things like that.

( gasps)

Guys like me.

I'm a guy like me.

All right, team, it's the fourth quarter.

The Lord gave us the atoms, and it's up to us

to make them dance.

Hey, if Tom Landry's hat doesn't motivate you

then I should just quit right now.

I'm sorry, we're just a little tired, sir.

We've been pushing ourselves real hard

to get the reactor on-line.

Tired, eh?

What you guys need is hammocks.

Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?

Sir, I need to know where can I get some business hammocks?

Hammocks?

My goodness, what an idea.

Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks.

Homer, there's four places.

There's the Hammock Hut. That's on third. Uh-huh.

There's Hammocks-R-US. That's on third too. Got it.

You got Put-Your-Butt-There. Mm-hmm.

That's on third. Yes.

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Right.

Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex.

It's the Hammock Complex down on third.

Oh, the Hammock District.

That's right.

Ready for the linkup, Mr. Scorpio.

Homer, one second. I got to take care of this.

Very important. Be right back.

Fine.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

This is Scorpio.

I have the doomsday device.

You have 72 hours to deliver the gold

or you'll face the consequences.

And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this.

Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge.

Maybe it just collapsed on its own.

We can't take that chance.

You always say that.

I want to take a chance.

Collapsed on its own?

You... you have 72 hours.

See you.

Back to the hammocks, my friend.

Yes. There's a little place called Mary Ann's Hammocks.

The nice thing about that place

is Mary Ann gets in the hammock with you.

I'm just kidding. Oh.

You know who invented the hammock, Homer? No.

That's something for you to do. Find that out.

Any sugar around here?

Try there, Homer.

Scorpio: Hi, Homer.

I'm keeping two of my fingers crossed

that you're going to have that nuclear generator

up to full power by tomorrow.

Yes, sir. No problemo.

Good. By the way, Homer.

What's your least favorite country? Italy or France?

France. ( chuckling)

Nobody ever says Italy.

I never noticed this office before.

Why should you? It's mine.

You have any sugar around here?

Sugar? Sure.

There you go.

Sorry it's not in packages.

Want some cream?

Uh... ye... no.

( ominous music playing)

♪ I like me ♪

♪ I like me ♪

♪ I'm as good as I can be ♪

♪ With a smile and a wave and a happy melody ♪

♪ I'm as good as... ♪

♪ I... ♪

Hooray!

Everyone's a winner.

( groans)

Oh, the whole forest is blooming.

( sneezes)

Excuse me.

Oh, my eyes are burning.

( loud sneezes)

( coughing)

Oh, little chipmunk friend.

I'm allergic to everything.

( sneezes)

( sneezing)

Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?

Scorpio, you're totally mad.

I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.

So, do you expect me to talk?

I don't expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral.

You're going to die now.

Stop him! He's supposed to die!

Nice work, Homer.

Am I proud of you.

Well...

When you go home tonight, there's going to be

another story on your house.

Thank you.

( guns firing)

I tackled a loafer at work today.

Hey, what's with you sad sacks?

I'm allergic to everything here.

My nose is so stuffed up

I can't even taste Mom's delicious boiled celery.

I've been so bored since we moved here

I found myself drinking a glass of wine every day.