Much Apu About Nothing

Season 7 / Episode 23

0:12 - 0:12

D-ohh!

0:12 - 0:13

( screams)

0:46 - 0:49

Run, Daddy, run!

0:49 - 0:50

Open the door, Maude!

0:50 - 0:53

I don't have time for the secret knock!

0:53 - 0:54

Maude: Oh, I'm panicking, Neddy.

0:54 - 0:56

I can't work the knob!

0:56 - 0:59

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

1:08 - 1:10

This is Kent Brockman

1:10 - 1:13

with a special report from the Channel 6 news copter.

1:13 - 1:16

A large bear-like animal, most likely a bear

1:16 - 1:19

has wandered down from the hills in search of food

1:19 - 1:20

or perhaps employment.

1:20 - 1:21

Please, remain calm.

1:21 - 1:23

Stay in your homes.

1:29 - 1:32

Looks like bad news for the...

1:32 - 1:34

Impson family.

1:35 - 1:37

Let's all calm down.

1:37 - 1:39

Everyone's going to be just fine

1:39 - 1:41

as long as I've got enough beers.

1:43 - 1:44

( screams)

1:44 - 1:45

All right, that does it.

1:45 - 1:48

If I'm going to be trapped inside the house

1:48 - 1:50

I got to go out and buy some beer.

1:56 - 1:60

Now to drop gracefully through the windshield.

2:01 - 2:03

Ahh!

2:03 - 2:05

I got you, Dad!

2:05 - 2:06

Ahh!

2:16 - 2:19

Sweet dreams, Smokey.

2:19 - 2:20

Oww!

2:20 - 2:23

Animal tranquilizer!

2:25 - 2:27

Ohh...

2:28 - 2:30

Smooth.

2:30 - 2:31

( belches)

2:36 - 2:38

Book 'em, Lou.

2:38 - 2:40

One count of being a bear.

2:40 - 2:41

And one count

2:41 - 2:43

of being an accessory to being a bear.

2:52 - 2:54

Oh, Marge, it was horrible.

2:54 - 2:57

We were trapped in the house all afternoon

2:57 - 2:59

and... well...

2:59 - 3:01

we had to drink toilet water.

3:01 - 3:04

Well, things were bad everywhere.

3:04 - 3:06

I'm sick of these constant bear attacks!

3:06 - 3:10

It's like a freakin' country bear jamboroo around here.

3:10 - 3:11

Well, now, realistically, Homer

3:11 - 3:13

I've lived here some 30-odd years.

3:13 - 3:16

This is the first and only bear I've ever seen.

3:16 - 3:17

Hey

3:17 - 3:19

if you want wild bears eating your children

3:19 - 3:21

and scaring away your salmon

3:21 - 3:22

that's your business.

3:22 - 3:24

But I'm not going to take it!

3:24 - 3:25

Who's with me?

3:25 - 3:27

I am! I am! I am!

3:28 - 3:33

Homer: We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!

3:33 - 3:37

Crowd: We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!

3:37 - 3:38

Hey Homer, that's a pretty catchy chant.

3:38 - 3:39

Where'd you learn it?

3:39 - 3:40

Oh, I heard it

3:40 - 3:43

at the mustache parade they have every year.

3:43 - 3:46

Sir, there's an unruly mob to see you.

3:46 - 3:48

Does it have an appointment?

3:48 - 3:50

Uh... yes it does.

3:50 - 3:51

I phoned ahead.

3:51 - 3:54

Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you

3:54 - 3:56

but your city is infested with bears.

3:56 - 3:59

And these ones are smarter than the average bear.

3:59 - 4:01

They swiped my pic-a-nic basket.

4:01 - 4:03

Think of the children.

4:03 - 4:04

Very well.

4:04 - 4:06

I promise swift and decisive action

4:06 - 4:08

against these hibernating hucksters.

4:08 - 4:10

( cheering)

4:12 - 4:13

( chuckling)

4:22 - 4:24

Ahh, not a bear in sight.

4:24 - 4:27

The bear patrol must be working like a charm.

4:27 - 4:29

That's specious reasoning, Dad.

4:29 - 4:30

Thank you, honey.

4:30 - 4:32

By your logic, I could claim