( bell ringing)

D-OHH!

( screams)

THIS BUS HAS SEEN BETTER DAYS.

WELL, AT LEAST IT'S SAFER THAN THE OLD BUS.

UH-OH. TIME TO MOVE.

THE HOLE'S GETTING BIGGER.

( crash)

THE CHILDREN ARE PLAYING IN THE HOLE AGAIN.

SHOULDN'T YOU GET THAT FIXED?

EDNA, YOU KNOW THEY JUST CUT THE SCHOOL'S BUDGET.

IF I HAD THE MONEY, I'D FIX THE EXHAUST LEAK IN THE BACK.

I THINK IT'S CAUSING OUR LOW TEST SCORES.

( coughing)

THE BATTLEFIELD IS A HALF MILE AHEAD.

BEGIN BRAKING PROCEDURE!

THIS CIVIL WAR CANNON HAS BEEN FULLY RESTORED

AND IS IN READY-TO-FIRE CONDITION

BUT IT'S GOOD WE'RE NOT FIRING IT.

BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO BE AIMED

AT THE MAIN SUPPORT LEG OF THAT LOOKOUT TOWER.

PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE

THAT CANNONS ARE VERY SENSITIVE

AND THE SLIGHTEST JOLT COULD SET THEM OFF.

( tires screeching)

OF COURSE, FOR SAFETY REASONS

WE DON'T KEEP THE CANNON LOADED.

IT'S JUST COMMON SENSE.

OTTO, WHY DON'T YOU

GET SOME MORE GAS?

HERE'S THE CREDIT CARD.

OOH.

AND A MINT FOR AFTERWARDS.

FIVE DOLLARS A CHILD?!

LAST YEAR IT WAS FREE.

HMPH. NEW OWNERSHIP.

BUT WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY.

IN FACT, NO SCHOOL

COULD AFFORD THE...

HERE'S THE ADMISSION

PLUS SOMETHING FOR YOU.

SEE THAT THEY GET A LITTLE EXTRA EDUCATION.

YES, SIR, PRINCIPAL VALIANT.

HE THINKS HE'S SO HOT EVER SINCE HE SWEPT THE PRINCI AWARDS.

THOSE THINGS ARE RIGGED.

Narrator: ON MAY 21, 1864

THE MEN OF THE NINTH BEARDED INFANTRY

WERE SUNNING AND FLUFFING THEIR BEARDS IN THE SUN.

SUDDENLY, ENEMY TROOPS CRESTED THAT HILL OVER THERE.

FORT SPRINGFIELD, WE SURRENDER UNCONDITIONALLY!

WE'RE SICK!

WE NEED LEECHES

AND HACKSAWS TO SAW OFF OUR GANGRENOUS LIMBS!

BUT THE SPRINGFIELD BRIGADE

WAS TOO BRAVE TO ACCEPT THE SURRENDER.

THOSE WHITE FLAGS ARE NO MATCH FOR OUR MUSKETS!

CHARGE!

AND THE SPRINGFIELDERS HEROICALLY SLAUGHTERED

THEIR ENEMIES AS THEY PRAYED FOR MERCY.

( cheering)

Bart: IT'S HARD TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

I CAN ONLY MAKE OUT THE FAT SOLDIERS.

ALL RIGHT. SWITCH.

HEY, THEY'RE TRYING TO LEARN FOR FREE!

GET THEM!

USE YOUR PHONY GUNS AS CLUBS!

RUN, CHILDREN!

( children screaming)

START THE BUS, OTTO!

START THE BUS!

( coughing): DAMN.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THE MINT FIRST.

OKAY. HOP ON.

WAIT! WAIT!

SLOW DOWN!

BECAUSE OF YOUR PENNY-PINCHING

WE'RE COMING BACK FROM A FIELD TRIP

WITH THE FEWEST CHILDREN YET.

GOD BLESS THE MAN WHO INVENTED PERMISSION SLIPS.

UH, I THINK I GOT YOUR LUNCH.

OH, YEAH.

I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS FOR ME.

THE TEACHERS ARE FED UP.

YOU HAVE TO PUT MONEY BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.

YOU'VE CUT BACK ON EVERYTHING--

SALARIES, SUPPLIES, THE FOOD.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I CAN TASTE THE NEWSPAPER.

POSH. SHREDDED NEWSPAPERS

ADD MUCH-NEEDED ROUGHAGE AND ESSENTIAL INKS.

BESIDES, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THE OLD GYM MATS.

THERE'S VERY LITTLE MEAT IN THESE GYM MATS.

OUR DEMANDS ARE VERY REASONABLE.

BY IGNORING THEM

YOU'RE SELLING OUT THESE CHILDREN'S FUTURES.

WE BOTH KNOW THESE CHILDREN HAVE NO FUTURE.

( nervous laughter): PROVE ME WRONG, KIDS.

PROVE ME WRONG.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM FIGHT LIKE THAT.

I'M WORRIED THAT THIS POSTURING AND SABER RATTLING

COULD LEAD TO A TEACHERS' STRIKE.

STRIKE, EH?

( cracking)

OW!

MY BONES ARE SO BRITTLE.

BUT I ALWAYS DRINK PLENTY OF...

"MALK"?

HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO TEACH WITH THESE SUPPLIES?

THIS POINTER'S SO OLD, IT'S WORN DOWN TO A NUB.

IT STILL POINTS.

STOP THAT!

AND LOOK AT THIS.

THE ONLY BOOKS WE HAVE ARE ONES BANNED BY OTHER SCHOOLS.

WELL, THE KIDS HAVE TO LEARN

ABOUT TEK WAR SOONER OR LATER.

GO AWAY. THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME.

I SAW YOU TWO FIGHTING.

I'M WORRIED THERE COULD BE A STRIKE

AND THE SCHOOL WOULD SHUT DOWN.

I'M SURE YOU'D REALLY HATE THAT.

THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE A STRIKE, BART.

YEAH.. SKINNER SAYS YOU WOULDN'T HAVE

THE WON TONS TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.

SKINNER SAID THAT?

I HAD TO CLEAN IT UP A LITTLE.

BUT BASICALLY, KRABAPPEL SAID

YOU'D GIVE THE TEACHERS EVERYTHING THEY WANT.

SHE DID?

YEAH. SHE SAID

YOU'D FOLD FASTER THAN SUPERMAN ON LAUNDRY DAY.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE SNEAKY AND MANIPULATIVE

BUT NOW I SEE

YOU'RE REALLY A VERY SENSITIVE LITTLE BOY.

THANK YOU, SIR.

AW.

SEYMOUR, YOU'RE BEING TOTALLY UNFAIR,

AND THE TEACHERS WON'T STAND FOR IT.

TEACHERS, YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO STRIKE!

YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO TAKE US ALL ON!

( imitating chicken)

THAT'S IT!

STEE-RIKE!

( sounds of struggle)

Skinner: Attention.

This is an emergency broadcast.

All is well in the school.

My authority as principal is total...

Hey, give me that!

Mrs. Krabappel: Attention, teachers. We're on strike. Ha!

( children murmuring)

WE'RE ON STRIKE?

MISS HOOVER, ARE YOU ON..?

( tires screeching)

GO HOME, CHILDREN!

HELLO?

MRS. POMMELHORST?

I'D LIKE TO GET DOWN NOW.

( playing "Pomp and Circumstance")

HEY, NOW THAT LARGO'S GONE

WE CAN PLAY THE FORBIDDEN MUSIC.

( playing "Pop Goes the Weasel")

I HEARD THAT!

( cheering)

BART, LISA-- WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HOME SO EARLY?

GREAT NEWS, MOM!

HORRIBLE NEWS, MOM!

THE SCHOOL'S ON STRIKE!

MAYBE FOREVER!

OH! OVERLOAD! PLEASURE OVERLOAD!

LUCKILY, I'VE PREPARED FOR THIS

SO I'M NOT TOO WORRIED.

( bell rings on tape)

Sit up straight. Eyes forward.

No talking.

Is that gum? Is that gum?

Is that gum?

OH, YEAH. PHEW!

BART, LEAVE THAT CROWBAR.