( bell ringing)

D-OHH!

( screams)

WE NOW RETURN TO KNIGHTBOAT.

THE CRIME-SOLVING BOAT.

FASTER KNIGHTBOAT.

WE'VE GOT TO CATCH THOSE STARFISH POACHERS.

You don't have to yell, Michael.

I'm all around you.

OH, NO! THEY'RE HEADED FOR LAND.

WE'LL NEVER CATCH THEM NOW.

Incorrect.

Look-- a canal.

GO, KNIGHTBOAT, GO!

EVERY WEEK THERE'S A CANAL.

OR AN INLET.

OR A FJORD.

QUIET! I WILL NOT HEAR ANOTHER WORD AGAINST THE BOAT.

OKAY, TV OFF-- IT'S FAMILY TIME.

OH, BUT, MARGE!

KNIGHTBOAT-- THE CRIME-SOLVING BOAT.

HOMER, YOU PROMISED--

ONE NIGHT OF FAMILY TIME A WEEK.

BESIDES, THAT BACK-TALKING BOAT SETS A BAD EXAMPLE.

SAYS YOU, WOMAN.

( all groaning)

ALL RIGHT, FAMILY TIME BEGINS NOW.

( ticking)

( yawns)

( yawns)

( rapid ticking)

HOMER!

IT WAS BART.

WHY DON'T WE ALL LOOK AT THE PHOTO ALBUM?

SO MANY MEMORIES.

AH, LOOK...

KNIGHTBOAT.

Lisa and Bart: AW...

AND HERE'S OUR TV NEXT TO THE MIRROR.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE TWO.

WOW. TWO. WOW. TWO.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH-- TWO.

LET'S GET TO THE BABY PICTURES.

( Homer, Bart and Lisa groan)

THAT'S EXCITING.

Bart: OH, PLEASE.

( Lisa chuckling)

( Bart snickering)

HERE'S BART SLEEPING.

HERE HE IS DOZING.

HERE HE IS AFTER A VISIT FROM THE SANDMAN.

OOH, HERE'S NAPPY-TIME, BART.

HERE'S A CUTE ONE-- HE'S ALL TUCKERED OUT.

WHY AREN'T THERE ANY PICTURES OF MAGGIE?

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY INTERESTING STORY.

( Bart and Lisa groan)

IT ALL BEGAN ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO BEFORE MAGGIE WAS EVEN BORN.

BART, YOU WERE LISA'S AGE.

AND LISA, YOU WERE... THE AGE BART WAS SEVERAL YEARS AGO.

GET THE CAMERA READY.

( yawning): BART VERY SLEEPY.

LISTEN CAREFULLY, AND MY WORDS WILL SHAPE IMAGES

AS CLEAR AS ANY TV SHOW.

IT WAS A TUMULTUOUS TIME FOR OUR NATION.

THE CLEAR BEVERAGE CRAZE GAVE US ALL A REASON TO LIVE.

THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY SHOWED THE AVERAGE PERSON

WHAT SOME NERD THINKS ABOUT STAR TREK

AND THE DOMESTICATION OF THE DOG CONTINUED UNABATED.

I WAS AT MY WORKSTATION WHEN SUDDENLY...

Man: Attention, American workers.

Your plant has been taken over by an all-star team

of freelance terrorists.

NOT ON MY SHIFT!

( karate yells)

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

SIMPSON 10, TERRORISTS 8.

( chuckling)

Marge: HOMER, TELL THE STORY RIGHT.

Homer: OKAY.

( coughing)

HOMER, YOU SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR.

I DON'T THINK A HEALTHY MAN

CAN MAKE THAT KIND OF SMELL.

YOUR PAYCHECKS, GENTLEMEN.

( gasps)

WHOO-HOO!

THIS IS IT.

WITH THIS SINGLE, GLORIOUS CHECK

I'M FINALLY COMPLETELY OUT OF DEBT!

YES! WITH MY BILLS PAID OFF

I CAN FINALLY QUIT THIS LOUSY JOB.

BUT HOMER, HOW YOU GOING TO MAKE A LIVING?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT HOMER J.

I'VE GOT A PLAN...

A PLAN THAT WILL FIX YOU GOOD.

HEY, WHAT DID WE DO?

SORRY. THAT JUST SLIPPED OUT.

I'LL MISS YOU.

DID YOU HEAR ME?

I SAID I QUIT, MONTY!

AND SINCE I QUIT, I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT.

IS THAT SO?

OOH, LOVELY DESK.

IT WOULD BE TOO BAD IF SOMEONE...

OH, I DON'T KNOW...

DIDN'T USE A COASTER!

( gasps)

( cackling)

SUCH A NICE, TIDY OFFICE.

MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU STARTED LIVING LIKE A PIG!

( grunting)

( sputtering)

OH, I HOPE I HAVEN'T UPSET YOU... BONGO HEAD!

( chanting gibberish)

I SHOULD BE RESISTING THIS, BUT I'M PARALYZED WITH RAGE

AND ISLAND RHYTHMS.

( cheering)

WAY TO GO!

WAY TO PLAY THE BOSS'S HEAD LIKE A BONGO, HOMER.

HE'S GETTING A PRETTY GOOD SOUND OUT OF THAT GUY.

AND.... UH!

EE! OOH! OW! UH!

THAT'S FOR EMPLOYING ME FOR EIGHT YEARS!

( laughing)

AND THAT IS THAT.

GOOD-BYE, MIND-NUMBING, BACKBREAKING LABOR FOREVER.

HELLO, DREAM JOB IN PARADISE.

( contented sigh)

AND NOW, THE FINAL PHASE OF MY PLAN.

HEY, BARNEY, ANY CHANCE YOU CAN GET ME A JOB HERE?

OH, SURE, HOMER.

I TOLD YOU, MY UNCLE OWNS THE PLACE.

HEY, UNCLE AL, CAN HOMER HAVE A JOB?

SURE.

WHOO-HOO!

( giggling)

BARNEY, YOU'RE FIRED.

OKAY.

SHOW UP TOMORROW. BRING THREE RAGS.

OH, AND CHANGE YOUR PANTS.

WHY?

WHEN IT HAPPENS, YOU'LL KNOW.

YOU'RE A PIN MONKEY?

WOW. FINALLY I DON'T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED

OF MY FATHER'S JOB.

I THINK IT'S ROMANTIC.

THROWING OFF YOUR SHACKLES OF THE WORKDAY WORLD

AND FOLLOWING A DREAM... OF SORTS.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

CAN WE GET BY ON A PIN MONKEY'S SALARY?

DON'T WORRY, MARGE.

I'VE COME UP WITH A PERFECTLY BALANCED BUDGET.

THERE WILL BE EXACTLY ENOUGH MONEY

FOR YOU, ME, BART AND LISA

IF WE MAKE A FEW SMALL SACRIFICES.

MM-HMM.

FROM NOW ON, WE USE REGULAR TOILET PAPER

NOT THAT FANCY QUILTED KIND.

( grunting)

ONLY ONE OF YOU KIDS CAN GO TO COLLEGE.

FINE. FINE.

THAT NIGHT YOUR MOTHER AND I WENT OUT FOR A ROMANTIC EVENING

TO CELEBRATE THE START OF OUR NEW LIFE.

WE BEGAN WITH DINNER AND DANCING.

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪

♪ the hottest spot north of Havana ♪

♪ at the Copa... ♪

( humming)

FOLLOWED BY A STROLL ON THE BEACH.

MARGE.

HOMER.

I'VE GOT SAND IN MY UNDERPANTS.

ME TOO. LET'S GO HOME.

( groaning)

( chuckling)

( groaning)

I LOVE YOU, MARGE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, HOMEY.

EVERYTHING IN OUR LIVES

IS FINALLY PERFECTLY BALANCED.

I HOPE THINGS STAY EXACTLY LIKE THIS FOREVER.

MM-HMM.

D-OHH!

D-OHH!

D-OHH! D-OHH! D-OHH!

WHOO-HOO!

OOH... DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO GRAPHIC?

IT'S OKAY, MARGE.

THEY PAVE THE WAY FOR THIS KIND OF FILTH IN SCHOOL.

SO DAD, WERE YOU EXCITED THAT MOM WAS PREGNANT?

ACTUALLY, YOUR MOTHER HADN'T TOLD ME YET.

AT THAT TIME, I HAD NO IDEA MAGGIE EVEN EXISTED.

DAD! DAD!

HI, MAGGIE.

SO ANYHOO, BACK THEN THERE WAS NO WAY FOR ME TO KNOW

YOUR MOTHER WAS PREGNANT.

( retching)

MARGE, YOU TIE UP THE BATHROOM EVERY MORNING.

I'VE GOT TO WASH MY HAIR.

THE NEXT FEW WEEKS AT MY DREAM JOB

WERE LIKE A WONDERFUL WAKING COMA.

HEY, HOMER.

HI THERE, HOMER.

HI, THERE.

HI THERE, HOMER.

HI.

( sniffing)

MMM, BOWLING FRESH.

( sniffing)

MMM, URINAL FRESH.

( bell dings)

( whirring)

( bell dings)

HOMER, DID YOU POLISH YOUR HEAD IN THE SHINE-O BALL-O?

NO.

OKAY, THEN.

WHOO!

I SLOWLY LEARNED

THE INTRICATE MYSTERIES OF THE ALLEY

LIKE WHERE THE PINS GO AFTER THEY'RE KNOCKED DOWN.

MM-MMM.

I WAS IN HEAVEN.

IF HORSE RACING IS THE SPORT OF KINGS

THEN SURELY BOWLING IS A... VERY GOOD SPORT AS WELL.

GREAT JOB, HOMER.

THANKS A LOT, HOMER.

YOU'RE THE BEST.

♪ I'M GONNA MAKE IT AFTER ALL. ♪

( grunts)

CONGRATULATIONS, MRS. SIMPSON.

YOU'RE PREGNANT.

MMM...

AM I TO TAKE IT THAT THIS IS...

( chuckles)

...AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY?

OH, NO, NO, NOT EXACTLY.

IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T TOLD HOMER YET

AND WITH HIS NEW JOB

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS.

WELL, YOU KNOW, A HEALTHY BABY CAN BRING UPWARDS OF $60,000.

WHAT?!

OF COURSE THAT WAS JUST A TEST.

HAD YOU REACTED DIFFERENTLY, YOU'D BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW.

SIMPLY A TEST.

( laughing)

SO IN A FEW MONTHS

BOTH OF YOU WILL HAVE A BRAND NEW BROTHER OR SISTER.

BEEN THERE. DONE THAT.

I HOPE IT'S A GIRL.

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT GENETICS, LIS.

IT GOES BOY, GIRL, BOY, GIRL.

YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TELLING DAD, AREN'T YOU, MOM?

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

YOU'VE BEEN IN MY ROOM FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS NOW.

HEY, I'M JUST HANGING.

HOMEY, I...

CAN'T TALK. PRAYING.

DEAR LORD, THE GODS HAVE BEEN GOOD TO ME

AND I AM THANKFUL.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE

EVERYTHING IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT JUST THE WAY IT IS.

MMM...

SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

YOU FREEZE EVERYTHING AS IT IS

AND I WON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE.

IF THAT IS OKAY