[ Chorus ] ♪ THE SIMPSONS ♪

[ Bell Ringing ]

[ Whistle Blowing ]

[ Beeping ]

♪ [ Jazzy Solo ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

D'OH! [ Screams ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Growling ]

[ Whining ]

[ Mumbling ]

[ Sniffs ] OOH!

[ Snoring ]

♪ [ Low Note ]

♪ [ Low Note ]

[ Snoring ] ♪ [ Low Note ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Honking ]

[ Moaning ]

[ Mumbling ]

DAD, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED! WAKE UP, DAD! WAKE UP!

THERE WAS A BURGLAR, AND HE TOOK MY SAXOPHONE! WHOO-HOO!

AND OUR PORTABLE TV. D'OH!

AND MY NECKLACE. AH, THAT'S NO BIG LOSS.

HOMER, THAT NECKLACE WAS A PRICELESS BOUVIER FAMILY HEIRLOOM.

YOU PROBABLY GOT A WHOLE DRAWER FULL OF 'EM.

WELL, YES, I DO, BUT THEY'RE ALL HEIRLOOMS TOO.

THE BURGLAR EVEN TOOK MY STAMP COLLECTION.

YOU HAD A STAMP COLLECTION?

[ Rings ]

[ Nelson ] STAMP COLLECTION? HA-HA!

OHH. BART'S PAIN IS FUNNY, BUT MINE ISN'T.

THAT SAXOPHONE WAS MY ONE CREATIVE OUTLET.

IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD TRULY EXPRESS MYSELF. SHH! QUIET, LISA.

HEY, THE BURGLAR LEFT HIS CALLING CARD.

"YOU HAVE JUST BEEN ROBBED BY THE SPRINGFIELD CAT BURGLAR."

- CUTE. - HIDILLY-HO, NEIGHBOREENOS.

CAN'T TALK. ROBBED. GO HELL.

YOU FOLKS GOT ROBBED TOO?

THE BURGLAR TOOK MY SHROUD OF TURIN BEACH TOWELS.

WOW! IT'S A CRIME WAVE.

GOOD LORD! MY STORMIN' NORMAN COMMEMORATIVE PLATES STOLEN! AGAIN.

HEY, I THOUGHT I HAD MORE STUFF THAN THIS.

WE ARE INSURED, AREN'T WE, MOM?

HOMER, TELL YOUR CHILD WHAT YOU BOUGHT WHEN I SENT YOU TO TOWN TO GET INSURANCE.

CURSE YOU, MAGIC BEANS! STOP BLAMING THE BEANS.

HELLO, POLICE? ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? GOOD!

I WISH TO REPORT A ROBBERY.

A ROBBERY, RIGHT. THANKS FOR THE REPORT.

THAT'S ANOTHER ONE, LOU. 723 EVERGREEN TERRACE.

WELL, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY PATTERN YET,

BUT IF I TAKE THIS ONE AND MOVE IT HERE...

AND I MOVE THESE OVER HERE--

HELLO! IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE AN ARROW.

HEY, LOOK, CHIEF! IT'S POINTING RIGHT AT THIS POLICE STATION.

- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! - [ All Screaming ]

WHEN CAT BURGLARIES START, CAN MASS MURDERS BE FAR BEHIND?

THIS REPORTER ISN'T SAYING THAT THE BURGLAR IS AN INHUMAN MONSTER LIKE THE WOLFMAN,

BUT HE VERY WELL COULD BE.

SO, PROFESSOR, WOULD YOU SAY IT'S TIME FOR EVERYONE TO PANIC?

YES, I WOULD, KENT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. [ Clamoring ]

WE HAVE A MAJOR BREAK IN THE CASE.

WE RECOVERED THE BURGLAR'S HANDKERCHIEF FROM ONE OF THE CRIME SCENES.

NOW, ONE SNIFF OF THIS BABY,

AND OUR TRACKING DOG WILL BE HOT ON HIS TRAIL.

GOSH, LOOK AT ME. I'M SWEATIN' LIKE A PIG HERE.

AH. AH, MAN. THAT'S BETTER.

ALL RIGHT. GET THE SCENT, BOY. COME ON. GET THE SCENT.

NOW KILL HIM! [ Yells ] [ Growling ]

HEY! [ Gasping ]

AH, MY JUGULAR! AH!

OH! ANY QUESTIONS?

WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, WHEN THE BURGLAR TRIPS THE ALARM,

THE HOUSE RAISES FROM ITS FOUNDATIONS...

AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET AND AROUND THE CORNER TO SAFETY.

[ Nervous Chuckle ] WELL THE... REAL HUMANS WON'T

..WON'T BURN QUITE SO FAST IN THERE.

AYE!

COOL! HIGH-TECH SECURITY SYSTEM.

[ Shouting, Laughing ]

ALL RIGHT! FREE LASERIUM.

ALL THE COLORS OF THE 'BOW, MAN.

OW! OH. MY CATARACTS ARE GONE.

I CAN SEE AGAIN. ALL THE BEAUTY OF NA--

OH!

I'M BLIND. OH, WELL. EASY COME, EASY GO.

[ Snoring ]

[ Screams ] IT'S THE CAT BURGLAR!

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

ABE, CAN I BORROW YOUR OINTMENT? OH, IT'S YOU, MALLOY.

ALL RIGHT. BUT THIS TIME CLEAN OFF THE APPLICATOR!

[ Gunshot ] [ Gasps ]

THANK YOU FOR COMING. I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL.

ALL RIGHT. THESE ARE OUR NEW FAMILY SECURITY RULES.

BE HOME BEFORE DARK, AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWED.

LOCK ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS.

AND DON'T TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS. THEY'RE ONLY HUMAN!

WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THESE PRECAUTIONS?

I'VE ALREADY LOST THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO ME.

OH, LISA, STOP PINING FOR YOUR SAXOPHONE. I GOT YOU ANOTHER INSTRUMENT.

WHAT, THIS JUG? ♪ [ Rhythmic Tones ]

HEE-HEE! [ Laughing ] WHEE! WHOA-HO-HO!