Homer the Vigilante

Season 5 / Episode 11

0:05 - 0:08

[ Chorus ] ♪ THE SIMPSONS ♪

0:11 - 0:13

[ Bell Ringing ]

0:15 - 0:18

[ Whistle Blowing ]

0:21 - 0:23

[ Beeping ]

0:29 - 0:35

♪ [ Jazzy Solo ]

0:35 - 0:37

[ Tires Screeching ]

0:38 - 0:40

D'OH! [ Screams ]

0:56 - 0:58

[ Snoring ]

1:18 - 1:21

[ Growling ]

1:22 - 1:25

[ Whining ]

1:27 - 1:29

[ Mumbling ]

1:31 - 1:34

[ Sniffs ] OOH!

1:37 - 1:40

[ Snoring ]

1:40 - 1:42

♪ [ Low Note ]

1:43 - 1:45

♪ [ Low Note ]

1:45 - 1:47

[ Snoring ] ♪ [ Low Note ]

1:47 - 1:49

[ Snoring ]

1:49 - 1:53

[ Honking ]

1:56 - 1:58

[ Moaning ]

2:00 - 2:02

[ Mumbling ]

2:14 - 2:17

DAD, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED! WAKE UP, DAD! WAKE UP!

2:17 - 2:20

THERE WAS A BURGLAR, AND HE TOOK MY SAXOPHONE! WHOO-HOO!

2:20 - 2:22

AND OUR PORTABLE TV. D'OH!

2:22 - 2:25

AND MY NECKLACE. AH, THAT'S NO BIG LOSS.

2:25 - 2:28

HOMER, THAT NECKLACE WAS A PRICELESS BOUVIER FAMILY HEIRLOOM.

2:28 - 2:30

YOU PROBABLY GOT A WHOLE DRAWER FULL OF 'EM.

2:30 - 2:34

WELL, YES, I DO, BUT THEY'RE ALL HEIRLOOMS TOO.

2:35 - 2:38

THE BURGLAR EVEN TOOK MY STAMP COLLECTION.

2:38 - 2:40

YOU HAD A STAMP COLLECTION?

2:44 - 2:46

[ Rings ]

2:46 - 2:49

[ Nelson ] STAMP COLLECTION? HA-HA!

2:49 - 2:53

OHH. BART'S PAIN IS FUNNY, BUT MINE ISN'T.

2:53 - 2:55

THAT SAXOPHONE WAS MY ONE CREATIVE OUTLET.

2:55 - 2:59

IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD TRULY EXPRESS MYSELF. SHH! QUIET, LISA.

2:59 - 3:01

HEY, THE BURGLAR LEFT HIS CALLING CARD.

3:01 - 3:06

"YOU HAVE JUST BEEN ROBBED BY THE SPRINGFIELD CAT BURGLAR."

3:06 - 3:09

- CUTE. - HIDILLY-HO, NEIGHBOREENOS.

3:09 - 3:11

CAN'T TALK. ROBBED. GO HELL.

3:11 - 3:13

YOU FOLKS GOT ROBBED TOO?

3:13 - 3:16

THE BURGLAR TOOK MY SHROUD OF TURIN BEACH TOWELS.

3:16 - 3:18

WOW! IT'S A CRIME WAVE.

3:18 - 3:23

GOOD LORD! MY STORMIN' NORMAN COMMEMORATIVE PLATES STOLEN! AGAIN.

3:24 - 3:27

HEY, I THOUGHT I HAD MORE STUFF THAN THIS.

3:27 - 3:29

WE ARE INSURED, AREN'T WE, MOM?

3:29 - 3:33

HOMER, TELL YOUR CHILD WHAT YOU BOUGHT WHEN I SENT YOU TO TOWN TO GET INSURANCE.

3:33 - 3:37

CURSE YOU, MAGIC BEANS! STOP BLAMING THE BEANS.

3:37 - 3:40

HELLO, POLICE? ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? GOOD!

3:40 - 3:42

I WISH TO REPORT A ROBBERY.

3:42 - 3:44

A ROBBERY, RIGHT. THANKS FOR THE REPORT.

3:44 - 3:48

THAT'S ANOTHER ONE, LOU. 723 EVERGREEN TERRACE.

3:48 - 3:51

WELL, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY PATTERN YET,

3:51 - 3:54

BUT IF I TAKE THIS ONE AND MOVE IT HERE...

3:54 - 3:56

AND I MOVE THESE OVER HERE--

3:56 - 4:01

HELLO! IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE AN ARROW.

4:01 - 4:04

HEY, LOOK, CHIEF! IT'S POINTING RIGHT AT THIS POLICE STATION.

4:04 - 4:07

- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! - [ All Screaming ]

4:11 - 4:14

WHEN CAT BURGLARIES START, CAN MASS MURDERS BE FAR BEHIND?

4:14 - 4:18

THIS REPORTER ISN'T SAYING THAT THE BURGLAR IS AN INHUMAN MONSTER LIKE THE WOLFMAN,

4:18 - 4:20

BUT HE VERY WELL COULD BE.

4:20 - 4:23

SO, PROFESSOR, WOULD YOU SAY IT'S TIME FOR EVERYONE TO PANIC?

4:23 - 4:25

YES, I WOULD, KENT.

4:25 - 4:27

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. [ Clamoring ]

4:27 - 4:30

WE HAVE A MAJOR BREAK IN THE CASE.

4:30 - 4:34

WE RECOVERED THE BURGLAR'S HANDKERCHIEF FROM ONE OF THE CRIME SCENES.

4:34 - 4:36

NOW, ONE SNIFF OF THIS BABY,

4:36 - 4:39

AND OUR TRACKING DOG WILL BE HOT ON HIS TRAIL.

4:39 - 4:42

GOSH, LOOK AT ME. I'M SWEATIN' LIKE A PIG HERE.

4:42 - 4:46

AH. AH, MAN. THAT'S BETTER.

4:46 - 4:49

ALL RIGHT. GET THE SCENT, BOY. COME ON. GET THE SCENT.

4:49 - 4:52

NOW KILL HIM! [ Yells ] [ Growling ]

4:52 - 4:54

HEY! [ Gasping ]

4:54 - 4:56

AH, MY JUGULAR! AH!

4:56 - 4:59

OH! ANY QUESTIONS?

4:59 - 5:02

WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, WHEN THE BURGLAR TRIPS THE ALARM,

5:02 - 5:04

THE HOUSE RAISES FROM ITS FOUNDATIONS...

5:04 - 5:07

AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET AND AROUND THE CORNER TO SAFETY.

5:09 - 5:13

[ Nervous Chuckle ] WELL THE... REAL HUMANS WON'T

5:13 - 5:16

..WON'T BURN QUITE SO FAST IN THERE.

5:16 - 5:16

AYE!

5:20 - 5:24

COOL! HIGH-TECH SECURITY SYSTEM.

5:31 - 5:35

[ Shouting, Laughing ]

5:35 - 5:37

ALL RIGHT! FREE LASERIUM.

5:37 - 5:40

ALL THE COLORS OF THE 'BOW, MAN.

5:40 - 5:44

OW! OH. MY CATARACTS ARE GONE.

5:44 - 5:47

I CAN SEE AGAIN. ALL THE BEAUTY OF NA--

5:47 - 5:49

OH!

5:49 - 5:52

I'M BLIND. OH, WELL. EASY COME, EASY GO.

5:52 - 5:55

[ Snoring ]

5:55 - 5:58

[ Screams ] IT'S THE CAT BURGLAR!

5:58 - 6:00

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

6:00 - 6:04

ABE, CAN I BORROW YOUR OINTMENT? OH, IT'S YOU, MALLOY.

6:04 - 6:07

ALL RIGHT. BUT THIS TIME CLEAN OFF THE APPLICATOR!

6:11 - 6:13

[ Gunshot ] [ Gasps ]

6:13 - 6:17

THANK YOU FOR COMING. I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL.

6:17 - 6:20

ALL RIGHT. THESE ARE OUR NEW FAMILY SECURITY RULES.

6:20 - 6:23

BE HOME BEFORE DARK, AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWED.

6:23 - 6:25

LOCK ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS.

6:25 - 6:28

AND DON'T TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS. THEY'RE ONLY HUMAN!

6:28 - 6:31

WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THESE PRECAUTIONS?

6:31 - 6:34

I'VE ALREADY LOST THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO ME.

6:34 - 6:38

OH, LISA, STOP PINING FOR YOUR SAXOPHONE. I GOT YOU ANOTHER INSTRUMENT.

6:38 - 6:41

WHAT, THIS JUG? ♪ [ Rhythmic Tones ]

6:41 - 6:45

HEE-HEE! [ Laughing ] WHEE! WHOA-HO-HO!