Like Father, Like Clown

Season 3 / Episode 6

0:11 - 0:13

( bell ringing)

0:15 - 0:18

( whistle blowing)

0:28 - 0:30

( playing the blues)

0:39 - 0:40

( screams )

0:56 - 0:58

I hold in my hand the final ax.

0:58 - 0:59

( kids cheering)

1:04 - 1:05

( grunts)

1:05 - 1:06

Ah, heh...

1:06 - 1:08

( laughing)

1:08 - 1:11

Well kids, that's all the time we have for today.

1:11 - 1:12

I'd like to thank Sideshow Mel

1:12 - 1:14

corporal punishment, Tina Ballerina

1:14 - 1:17

oh and from Knots Landing, Miss Donna Mills.

1:17 - 1:19

Oh, she was a sport.

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♪ We've had lots and lots ♪

1:20 - 1:23

♪ and lots and lots and lots of fun ♪

1:23 - 1:28

♪ But now the time has come... to go ♪

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♪ If this old clown was found dead in his bed ♪

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♪ Tomorrow I'd be in heaven ♪

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♪ still doing this show. ♪

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See you some other time!

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Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!

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( cheering)

1:40 - 1:42

( moans)

1:42 - 1:43

Great show, Krusty.

1:43 - 1:45

I really laughed when you...

1:45 - 1:48

Yeah, yeah. Where's my nicotine gum?

1:48 - 1:49

Ah, that's the stuff!

1:49 - 1:51

Damn, I'm exhausted.

1:51 - 1:52

Those kids were like ice out there.

1:52 - 1:55

You've got a 4:30 merchandising meeting.

1:55 - 1:56

Cancel it! Therapist?

1:56 - 1:57

Personal trainer? Cancel it!

1:57 - 1:59

The opening line on the Giants is 5 1/2.

1:59 - 2:00

Put a dime on it.

2:00 - 2:02

"Thank you" dinner with Bart Simpson?

2:02 - 2:03

I don't know any Bart Simpson.

2:03 - 2:05

Krusty, he's the boy who saved you from jail.

2:07 - 2:11

Well, we made a terrible, terrible mistake.

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Ah...

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won't happen again.

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There was one boy who trusted me

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all along.

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Bart? Yes, Sir?

2:19 - 2:20

Thank you.

2:20 - 2:22

Oh, yeah.

2:22 - 2:24

Cancel it!

2:28 - 2:30

( phone ringing)

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Hello?

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Mrs. Simpson?

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This is Lois Pennycandy, Krusty the Clown's executive assistant.

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Hello, Mrs. Pennycandy.

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It's Miss Pennycandy, I can assure you.

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I'm sorry to inform you

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that Krusty will once again, not be joining Bart for dinner.

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Oh dear, this is the fifth time he's cancelled.

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How can he hurt someone who loves him so?

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Oh, Mrs. Simpson

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I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question.

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I apologize for him.

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Something really important came up at the last minute.

2:58 - 3:00

Lousy mildew!

3:00 - 3:03

( grumbles)

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That's good enough.

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Well, thank you for calling.

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Good-bye.

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( growls)

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Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?

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A hundred.

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Consider it done.

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♪ You're walkin' ♪

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♪ along the street ♪

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♪ or you're at a party ♪

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♪ or else you're alone ♪

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♪ and then you suddenly dig, dig, dig ♪

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♪ This could be the start of something big. ♪

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Sweetie, I'm sorry

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but Krusty isn't coming to dinner again.

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Oh, man.

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"Dear Krusty, This is Bart Simpson

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"Krusty Buddy number 16302

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"respectfully returning his badge.

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"I always suspected that nothing in life mattered.

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"Now I know for sure.

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Get bent. Bart Simpson."

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Ooh, sex-chat!

3:58 - 4:01

Woman: You've reached the party line.

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In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party

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with some of the world's most beautiful women.

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Now let's join the party.

4:07 - 4:08

Hello?

4:08 - 4:09

Hello?

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Hello?

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Are there any women here?

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Hello?!

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Are you a beautiful woman?

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Do I sound like a beautiful woman?!

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This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated.

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Read this!

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Uh... I, um...

4:23 - 4:25

uh... uh...

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"Dee..." uh...

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"deee..."

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"Dear...

4:29 - 4:31

"Krus-s-s-t...

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Why..?"

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It says that the little boy

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who never lost faith in you has lost faith in you.

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Krusty, you are going to Bart Simpson's house for dinner tonight!

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But I have plans.

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Hey! Not the face!

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Why you maddening, impossible man!

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If you don't go tonight

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I won't be here tomorrow.

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Oh, all right, I'll go.

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Oh, Krusty!

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But I sure hate missing Schnapps Night at the Friar's Club.

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Bart, wipe your feet.

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Why bother?

4:58 - 5:00

They'll just get dirty again.

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I've got some good news.

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Krusty the Clown is coming to dinner tonight.

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He is? For sure?

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Yes.

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God bless that clown.

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( knock on door)

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Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk! ( horn honks )

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You think it's him?

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Hi, kids!

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Hey, hi!

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( laughs)

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Cute kid.

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( doorbell rings)

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Oh, hi, Bart.

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I was just in the neighborhood...

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What? Krusty the Clown!

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What a surprise!

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Milhouse, you can come in, and drop the charade.

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Whoa! ( laughing)

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Bart: Krusty, you don't have to be on tonight.

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What are you talking about?

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Of course, he does.

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No, Dad. Krusty is our guest.

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Your pratfalls and Punchinello antics

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aren't necessary here.

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Really?

5:50 - 5:51

Yeah. Just relax and be yourself.

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Oh, that's a relief.

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Go wait in the car.

6:00 - 6:03

Aw! We could have seen a monkey.

6:03 - 6:05

Marge: Who wants to say grace?

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Why don't we let our guest do it.

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Bless us, oh Lord...

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Hey!

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Krusty, would you do the honors?

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Well, all right.

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I'm a little rusty, but, um... I'll try.

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Baruch ata adonai

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eloheinu melech ha-olam

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ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz.

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( laughs)

6:23 - 6:25

He's talking funny talk.

6:25 - 6:27

No, Dad, that's Hebrew.

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Krusty must be Jewish.

6:29 - 6:30

A Jewish entertainer?

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Get out of here!

6:31 - 6:34

Dad, there are many prominent Jewish entertainers

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including Lauren Bacall, Dinah Shore, William Shatner

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and Mel Brooks.

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Mel Brooks is Jewish?!

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( crying)

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Krusty, are you all right?

6:45 - 6:48

Yes, it's just that saying The Brucha brings back

6:48 - 6:50

a lot of painful memories.

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The old days...

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my... my father.

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Hey, Krusty, you going to finish

6:56 - 6:58

that meat loaf, or what?

6:58 - 7:00

( sobbing)

7:05 - 7:06

Poor Krusty.

7:06 - 7:09

He's like a black velvet painting come to life.

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Krusty, why don't you tell us what's wrong? You'll feel better.

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Yeah, spill your guts, man.

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Yeah. Come on.

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Krusty, tell us.

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Well, okay.

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First of all

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my real name isn't Krusty the Clown.

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It's Herschel Krustofski.

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My father was a rabbi.

7:24 - 7:26

His father was a rabbi.

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His father's father...

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Well, you get the idea.

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My father was the most respected man

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in the lower east side of Springfield.

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People would come from miles around

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to ask his advice.

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Reb Krustofski, should I finish college?

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Yes. No one is poor except he who lacks knowledge.