Bart Gets an F

Season 2 / Episode 1

0:19 - 0:21

( bell ringing)

0:26 - 0:28

( whistle blowing)

0:42 - 0:46

( playing the blues)

1:02 - 1:02

( horn honks )

1:08 - 1:09

( screams )

1:23 - 1:25

Bart: Huh?

1:25 - 1:26

Teacher: There will be no further interruptions

1:26 - 1:27

during Martin's book report.

1:27 - 1:29

Martin: "You're killing me, fish.

1:29 - 1:31

"Never have I seen

1:31 - 1:34

"a greater or more noble thing than you, brother.

1:34 - 1:35

"Come on and kill me.

1:35 - 1:38

"I do not care who kills who.

1:38 - 1:40

"To catch a fish.

1:40 - 1:42

"To kill a bull.

1:42 - 1:44

"To make love to a woman.

1:44 - 1:47

To live."

1:47 - 1:48

I thank you.

1:48 - 1:51

Oh, absolutely brilliant!

1:51 - 1:54

There were moments I truly believed

1:54 - 1:55

you were Hemingway.

1:55 - 1:56

Bravo, Martin.

1:56 - 1:57

Oh please, call me Papa.

1:57 - 2:00

A little ketchup for your buns, Papa?

2:00 - 2:03

I think we have time for one more report.

2:03 - 2:04

- Bart Simpson? - Oh!!

2:04 - 2:07

Is your book report on Treasure Island ready?

2:07 - 2:08

Is it ready?

2:08 - 2:10

Ha! What a question.

2:10 - 2:13

Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled.

2:13 - 2:16

Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned

2:16 - 2:19

the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island.

2:19 - 2:21

It's about these... pirates.

2:21 - 2:24

Pirates with patches over their eyes...

2:24 - 2:26

and shiny gold teeth...

2:26 - 2:29

and green birds on their shoulders.

2:30 - 2:32

Did I mention this book

2:32 - 2:35

was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson?

2:35 - 2:38

And published by the good people at McGraw-Hill.

2:38 - 2:39

So, in conclusion

2:39 - 2:42

on the Simpson scale of one to ten

2:42 - 2:44

ten being the highest, one being the lowest

2:44 - 2:48

and five being average, I give this book a nine.

2:48 - 2:50

Ahem. Any questions?

2:50 - 2:52

No? Then I'll just sit down.

2:52 - 2:54

Bart, did you read the book?

2:54 - 2:55

Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted.

2:55 - 2:58

Is this a book report or a witch hunt?

2:58 - 3:01

Then perhaps you'd like to tell us

3:01 - 3:03

the name of the pirate.

3:03 - 3:06

Bart: Blackbeard, Captain Nemo, Captain Hook, Long John...

3:06 - 3:07

Bluebeard?

3:07 - 3:09

Sit down, Bart.

3:09 - 3:11

- I'll see you after class. - Awww.

3:11 - 3:13

Your grades have gotten steadily worse

3:13 - 3:14

since the beginning of the term.

3:14 - 3:15

Are you aware of that?

3:15 - 3:17

Yes, ma'am.

3:17 - 3:18

Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow

3:18 - 3:19

on colonial America?

3:19 - 3:20

Yes, ma'am.

3:20 - 3:21

Blah blah

3:21 - 3:23

blah blah blah

3:23 - 3:23

Yes, ma'am.

3:23 - 3:25

Blah blah blah

3:25 - 3:26

blah blah blah

3:26 - 3:27

Yes, ma'am.

3:27 - 3:28

Bart, you haven't

3:28 - 3:30

been paying attention to a word I've said, have you?!

3:30 - 3:31

Yes, ma'am.

3:31 - 3:32

Well then, what did I say?

3:32 - 3:34

Uh... straighten up and fly right?

3:34 - 3:36

That was a lucky guess.

3:39 - 3:41

Hyuh! Take that, granny!

3:41 - 3:42

Hide in the closet.

3:42 - 3:44

Oh, no, deadly mothballs.

3:44 - 3:45

Eww! Granny's kissing me.

3:45 - 3:47

game voice: You have reached the level

3:47 - 3:48

of ungrateful grandchild.

3:48 - 3:50

Try again, if you dare.

3:50 - 3:52

( granny giggling)

3:52 - 3:54

( evil laugh)

3:54 - 3:55

Just a couple more games

3:55 - 3:57

and I'll hit the books.

4:06 - 4:07

( laughing)

4:13 - 4:14

Soup's on!

4:14 - 4:17

Hurry up, or it will get that icky skin on the top.

4:17 - 4:19

Ew, I hate that icky soup skin.

4:19 - 4:22

Okay, right after dinner, it's down to business.

4:22 - 4:24

Marge, could you get me another beer, please?

4:24 - 4:25

In a second, Homer.

4:25 - 4:27

Lisa has some good news.

4:27 - 4:28

He doesn't care, Mom.

4:28 - 4:32

Sure I do. I just want to have a beer while I'm caring.

4:32 - 4:32

Marge?

4:32 - 4:33

Homer!

4:34 - 4:35

Go ahead, Lisa.

4:35 - 4:38

Okay. I got an "A" on my vocabulary test.

4:38 - 4:40

What!?

4:40 - 4:41

You did?

4:41 - 4:43

Well, that's just...

4:43 - 4:45

Oh, what a glorious day!

4:45 - 4:46

Lisa, hand me your paper.

4:46 - 4:47

I'm just gonna take this

4:47 - 4:49

over to the refrigerator and...

4:49 - 4:51

Hmm.. well, as long as I'm here

4:51 - 4:53

I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

4:53 - 4:55

What's the big idea? You covered up my paper.

4:55 - 4:57

Heh-heh, look at those funny little whiskers.

4:57 - 4:59

That reminds me

4:59 - 5:01

it's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie.

5:01 - 5:02

Come on, boy.

5:02 - 5:05

No, Dad. I should really... hyuhh!

5:05 - 5:08

Ooh, Gorilla the Conqueror--

5:08 - 5:10

the granddaddy of them all.

5:10 - 5:12

( crowd screaming)

5:12 - 5:15

Oh, well, maybe just one more hour.

5:15 - 5:18

( Homer crying)

5:18 - 5:20

It's so unfair.

5:20 - 5:22

Just because he's different.

5:22 - 5:24

Well, time to hit the books.

5:24 - 5:27

Burning the candle at both ends, eh boy?

5:27 - 5:28

Go get 'em.

5:28 - 5:29

All right, okay.

5:29 - 5:32

Let's take care of some business.

5:32 - 5:35

"Chapter One-- A dream of freedom.

5:35 - 5:38

"On September 15, 1620, Puritan separatists

5:38 - 5:42

"from the Church of England, some living in Holland

5:42 - 5:45

"left Plymouth, England.

5:48 - 5:50

Their destination was..."

5:51 - 5:53

Psst! Marge?

5:53 - 5:56

Come take a look at this.

5:56 - 5:59

Oh, the little tiger tries so hard.

5:59 - 6:01

Why does he keep failing?

6:01 - 6:04

Just a little dim, I guess.

6:05 - 6:06

Bart, honey

6:06 - 6:08

you're going to miss your bus.

6:08 - 6:10

Uh-oh.

6:10 - 6:11

Hey, Bart dude!

6:11 - 6:13

Ooh, you look freaked.

6:13 - 6:15

Otto man, I've got a big test I am not ready for.

6:15 - 6:17

Could you please crash the bus, or something?

6:17 - 6:20

Oh, sorry, little buddy. Can't do it on purpose

6:20 - 6:22

but hey, maybe you'll get lucky.

6:22 - 6:23

Okay, no reason to panic.

6:23 - 6:26

Find an egghead, pump him for some answers

6:26 - 6:28

and boom! I'm back on easy street.

6:30 - 6:31

Oh-ho.

6:31 - 6:33

Look at him.

6:33 - 6:34

I bet he didn't study again.

6:34 - 6:37

And now he's gonna try to kiss up and get answers from us.

6:37 - 6:39

He's pathetic.

6:39 - 6:40

Good morning, girls.

6:40 - 6:42

Good morning, Bart.

6:42 - 6:44

Say, who's up for a little cram session?

6:44 - 6:46

I'll go first.

6:46 - 6:48

What was the name of the pilgrims' boat?

6:48 - 6:50

The Spirit of St. Louis.

6:50 - 6:52

Where did they land?

6:52 - 6:53

Sunny Acapulco.

6:53 - 6:55

Why did they leave England?

6:55 - 6:56

Giant rats.

6:56 - 6:58

Cool! History's coming alive.

6:58 - 6:60

( girls giggling)

7:02 - 7:04

As a natural enemy

7:04 - 7:06

I don't know why I should care

7:06 - 7:07

but the information pertaining

7:07 - 7:10

to America's colonial period that you've just received

7:10 - 7:11

is erroneous.

7:11 - 7:12

So you're saying...

7:12 - 7:15

A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth

7:15 - 7:16

has a better chance of passing this test

7:16 - 7:18

than you do.

7:18 - 7:20

( school bell rings ) Thanks for the pep talk.

7:21 - 7:24

Alright students, take one and pass the rest back.

7:24 - 7:26

Bart: Think, Simpson, think.

7:26 - 7:28

Crisis brings out the best in you.

7:28 - 7:30

( groaning)

7:30 - 7:32

What is it, Bart?

7:32 - 7:34

Nothing.

7:34 - 7:37

Must... take... test.

7:38 - 7:41

( groaning)

7:41 - 7:46

( whistling)

7:46 - 7:49

( groaning)

7:49 - 7:51

What's the matter, son?

7:51 - 7:54

Short, stabbing pains in my stomach.

7:54 - 7:55

Oh, dear.

7:55 - 7:56

I've heard of this.

7:56 - 7:59

Do you feel a shooting pain in your arm?

7:59 - 8:00

Both arms, ma'am.

8:00 - 8:02

Temporary loss of vision?

8:02 - 8:04

Who said that?

8:04 - 8:05

Come closer.

8:07 - 8:08

Yes, dear?

8:08 - 8:09

Ahh.

8:09 - 8:11

Maybe one more dish.

8:11 - 8:14

Make it double cappuccino chocolate fudge.

8:14 - 8:16

Oh, your third bowl.

8:16 - 8:17

I think you may be on the mend.

8:17 - 8:19

Is there anything else I can get you?

8:19 - 8:21

Hmm...

8:21 - 8:22

Perhaps the TV?

8:22 - 8:24

Of course. Homer!

8:24 - 8:25

What?

8:25 - 8:26

Bring the television up.

8:26 - 8:28

Bart's got his vision back.

8:28 - 8:29

D-ohh!

8:29 - 8:33

I wish I hadamoria phlebitis.

8:33 - 8:35

Everyone knows you're faking it, Bart.

8:35 - 8:37

Well everyone better keep their mouth shut.

8:37 - 8:39

You're gonna have to fail that history test

8:39 - 8:40

sooner or later.

8:40 - 8:43

I've got my bases covered.

8:43 - 8:45

Hey Milhouse, what'd I miss in school today?

8:45 - 8:48

Nothin' much. Lewis made Richard laugh milk through his nose.

8:48 - 8:49

You don't say.

8:49 - 8:51

What about that history test?

8:51 - 8:52

Piece of cake, huh?

8:52 - 8:55

Listen, what did you get for number one?

8:55 - 8:56

Uh-huh.

8:56 - 8:57

Number two?

8:57 - 8:59

Oh, yeah, that sounds right.

8:59 - 9:01

Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mmm.

9:01 - 9:02

Ahh!

9:02 - 9:04

Here you go, Mrs. Krabappel.

9:04 - 9:06

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

9:06 - 9:08

Mm-hmm.

9:08 - 9:09

Yep.

9:09 - 9:10

Mm-hmm.

9:10 - 9:14

This test is worse than Milhouse's exam.

9:14 - 9:16

Bart Simpson, I warned you.

9:16 - 9:18

This is the final straw.

9:18 - 9:21

Mr. And Mrs. Simpson, I think you know our district psychiatrist

9:21 - 9:22

Dr. J. Loren Pryor.

9:22 - 9:23

Hey, Doctor J.

9:23 - 9:25

Hmph.

9:25 - 9:27

I think what we have on our hands here is a classic case

9:27 - 9:31

of what laymen refer to as "fear of failure."

9:31 - 9:35

As a result, Bart is an underachiever, and yet he seems to be...

9:35 - 9:37

how should I put this...

9:37 - 9:38

proud of it.

9:38 - 9:40

Hmm.

9:40 - 9:41

One of his problems may be his short attention span

9:41 - 9:43

which can lead to...

9:43 - 9:44

blah blah blah

9:44 - 9:45

blah blah blah...

9:45 - 9:46

Uh-huh.

9:46 - 9:47

Blah blah

9:47 - 9:49

blah blah blah blah...

9:49 - 9:50

Hmm...

9:50 - 9:51

Bart has failed

9:51 - 9:53

his last four exams in History.

9:53 - 9:54

Is there anything

9:54 - 9:55

you're not telling us?

9:55 - 9:56

No.

9:56 - 9:58

Every other student in the class has shown

9:58 - 9:60

at least some form of improvement

9:60 - 10:01

and yet you continue to struggle.

10:01 - 10:02

Why is that?

10:02 - 10:03

I don't know.

10:03 - 10:05

Look at these results--

10:05 - 10:06

Fifty-five...

10:06 - 10:07

Forty-two...

10:07 - 10:08

Twenty-six...

10:08 - 10:10

A 12 on state capitals?

10:10 - 10:13

Okay! Okay. Why are we dancing around the obvious?

10:13 - 10:16

I know it. You know it. I am dumb, okay? Dumb as a post!

10:16 - 10:17

You think I'm happy about it?

10:17 - 10:20

Bart, you're just a late bloomer.

10:20 - 10:21

Oh, I wish it were that simple.

10:21 - 10:23

As shameful and as emotionally crippling

10:23 - 10:25

as it may be

10:25 - 10:28

I'm afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat

10:28 - 10:29

the fourth grade.

10:29 - 10:31

What? You can't hold me back.

10:31 - 10:32

I'll do better. I promise.

10:32 - 10:34

Promises, promises. Oh, sure. That'll be the day.

10:34 - 10:36

Well, maybe it would help him

10:36 - 10:37

to be left back.

10:37 - 10:39

It won't be so bad, Bart.

10:39 - 10:41

No, I mean it.

10:41 - 10:42

You can't hold me back.

10:42 - 10:43

I swear I'm gonna do better.

10:43 - 10:45

Look at my eyes-- see the sincerity?

10:45 - 10:47

See the conviction? See the fear?

10:47 - 10:51

As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!

10:51 - 10:53

And if you don't, at least

10:53 - 10:55

you'll be bigger than the other kids.

10:58 - 10:59

the bus,

10:59 - 11:01

or forever hold your peace, little dudes.

11:02 - 11:04

Otto, you know I respect you.

11:04 - 11:07

I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars

11:07 - 11:08

and try to tip the bus on sharp turns.

11:08 - 11:11

Damn thing never goes over, does it?

11:11 - 11:13

So what's in your head, little man?

11:13 - 11:16

Well, I been failing a lot of tests recently.

11:16 - 11:17

Yuh-huh?

11:17 - 11:18

And now they're talking about

11:18 - 11:21

holding me back in the 4th grade if I don't shape up.

11:21 - 11:23

That's it?

11:23 - 11:24

Hey, relax, man.

11:24 - 11:26

It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

11:26 - 11:31

I got held back in the fourth grade myself. Twice.

11:31 - 11:32

And look at me, man.

11:32 - 11:34

Now I drive the school bus.

11:38 - 11:40

Dr. Pryor: I'm afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson

11:40 - 11:43

to repeat the fourth grade...

11:43 - 11:44

repeat the fourth grade...

11:44 - 11:45

repeat the fourth grade...

11:45 - 11:47

All right, class.

11:47 - 11:49

The topic is world literature.

11:49 - 11:53

What was the pirate's name in Treasure Island?

11:53 - 11:55

Bart Simpson?

11:55 - 11:58

Look lady, I got a peptic ulcer

11:58 - 12:02

a wife hawking me for a new car, and I need a root canal.

12:02 - 12:04

Will you quit bugging me about this stupid pirate?

12:04 - 12:06

Psst. It's Long John Silver, Dad.

12:06 - 12:08

I heard that, Bart, Jr.

12:08 - 12:11

I want to see both of you after class today.

12:11 - 12:12

D-ohh!

12:12 - 12:14

Thanks a lot, son.

12:14 - 12:16

( infield chatter)

12:18 - 12:20

Yo, little help.

12:20 - 12:22

I said, "little help."

12:22 - 12:24

Throw me the ball, Poindexter!

12:24 - 12:25

Oh, I'm sorry, Bart.

12:25 - 12:28

I'm unfamiliar with the rules of your sport.

12:28 - 12:31

I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play.

12:31 - 12:34

( laughing)

12:34 - 12:37

Well, back to the forecastle of the Pequod.

12:37 - 12:39

Hmm... hey, Martin?

12:39 - 12:40

You have your ball.

12:40 - 12:42

I have nothing else of value.

12:42 - 12:44

I need you to help me get a passing grade.

12:44 - 12:48

Well, you do need someone's help to get a passing grade

12:48 - 12:50

but I don't know why that someone should be me.

12:50 - 12:52

Because I can make it so the other kids

12:52 - 12:54

don't laugh at you so much.

12:54 - 12:57

They... laugh at me?

12:57 - 13:00

I'd always considered myself rather popular.

13:00 - 13:01

You're not.

13:01 - 13:03

Watch. Oof!

13:03 - 13:04

( laughing)

13:05 - 13:09

But my speed with numbers

13:09 - 13:11

my years of service as a hall monitor

13:11 - 13:13

my prizewinning dioramas--

13:13 - 13:16

these things mean nothing to them?

13:16 - 13:18

Perhaps another demonstration.

13:18 - 13:20

( kids laughing)

13:20 - 13:21

Very well.

13:21 - 13:22

You have made your point, Bart.

13:22 - 13:24

Then it's a deal?

13:24 - 13:25

Yes.

13:25 - 13:28

Alrighty, let's have a look-see at your study area.

13:28 - 13:29

Study area?

13:29 - 13:31

Yes, your sanctuary

13:31 - 13:33

from the hurly-burly of modern life.

13:33 - 13:35

Well, there's a desk under that junk over there.

13:35 - 13:39

Martin: Oh, no no no, no. This won't do at all.

13:39 - 13:41

We're gonna have to clean up this room

13:41 - 13:43

and we'll clearly need a few ferns in here.

13:43 - 13:46

No study area is complete without adequate plant life.

13:48 - 13:49

No.

13:49 - 13:50

No?

13:50 - 13:53

Only geeks sit in the front seat.

13:53 - 13:54

From now on, sit in the back row.

13:54 - 13:55

And that's not just on the bus.

13:55 - 13:56

It goes for school and church, too.

13:56 - 13:57

Why?

13:57 - 14:00

So no one can see what you're doing.

14:00 - 14:04

Oh! I think I understand. The potential for mischief varies inversely

14:04 - 14:07

with one's proximity to the authority figure.

14:07 - 14:10

Well, yeah, but don't say it like that.

14:12 - 14:13

( tires skidding)

14:15 - 14:17

( crashing)

14:37 - 14:38

Nnymm.

14:39 - 14:41

Nyahh!

14:41 - 14:42

Uhhnng!

14:42 - 14:43

Aaah! Aaah!

14:47 - 14:48

Hyuhh!

14:48 - 14:52

Pretty soon you will be ready to try it with a real book.

14:52 - 14:55

( laughing)

14:55 - 14:57

Who would have thought

14:57 - 14:59

pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory

14:59 - 15:01

could be such a thrill?

15:01 - 15:05

The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn't me!

15:05 - 15:07

I've never felt so alive.

15:07 - 15:08

Great, Martin.

15:08 - 15:10

Now the big test is tomorrow...

15:10 - 15:12

Who cares about some test?

15:12 - 15:13

Life's too short for tests!

15:13 - 15:15

Hey, I thought we had a deal!

15:15 - 15:17

Ha, ha, ha!

15:17 - 15:19

The Martin Prince you made a deal with

15:19 - 15:21

no longer exists!

15:21 - 15:22

Come on fellows, to the arcade!

15:22 - 15:23

Cool, Martin!

15:23 - 15:25

All right, Martin!

15:25 - 15:27

Boys: Martin! Martin! Martin!

15:27 - 15:32

( humming "Row, row, row your boat")

15:32 - 15:34

Bart?

15:34 - 15:36

It's past your bedtime.

15:36 - 15:38

Okay.

15:38 - 15:40

This is hopeless.

15:40 - 15:44

Ohh...

15:44 - 15:47

Well, old-timer, I guess this is the end of the road.

15:47 - 15:49

I know I haven't always been a good kid

15:49 - 15:52

but if I have to go to school tomorrow

15:52 - 15:54

I'll fail the test and be held back.

15:54 - 15:57

I just need one more day to study, Lord.

15:57 - 15:58

I need your help.

15:58 - 16:01

Prayer, the last refuge of a scoundrel.

16:01 - 16:04

A teacher's strike, a power failure, a blizzard--

16:04 - 16:06

anything that will cancel school tomorrow.

16:06 - 16:09

I know it's asking a lot

16:09 - 16:12

but if anyone can do it, you can.

16:12 - 16:15

Thanking you in advance, your pal, Bart Simpson.

16:21 - 16:26

( The Hallelujah Chorus plays )

16:32 - 16:33

( groaning)

16:33 - 16:34

Wake up, Bart.

16:34 - 16:36

Rise and shine, little guy.

16:36 - 16:37

Time to wake up.

16:37 - 16:40

Oh, no, no.

16:40 - 16:42

Wake up and look at the snow.

16:42 - 16:43

Huh?

16:43 - 16:44

Whoa!

16:44 - 16:46

Good morning world!

16:46 - 16:48

Radio: Rise and shine, Springfield residents.

16:48 - 16:50

It's the Bill and Marty Show.

16:50 - 16:52

He's Bill. He's Marty.

16:52 - 16:54

Two grown men who can't get enough of each other.

16:54 - 16:56

And it looks like we've got some snow-formation

16:56 - 16:57

for all those flake-lovers out there. (meows)

16:57 - 16:59

( barks) all: Shh!

16:59 - 17:01

Mm-hmm. Springfield electric, gas and water plants

17:01 - 17:02

are closed for the day.

17:02 - 17:03

Oh, now don't forget

17:03 - 17:04

the nuclear power plant, Bill.

17:04 - 17:05

Please, please, please, please... That's c---losed, too.

17:05 - 17:06

Whoo-hoo!

17:06 - 17:08

All right!

17:08 - 17:10

For all you youngsters, you toddlers, this is what

17:10 - 17:12

you've been waiting for.

17:12 - 17:13

Springfield County schools are...

17:13 - 17:14

I can't read it.

17:14 - 17:16

I'm too excited.

17:16 - 17:18

Uh-oh...Springfield County schools will be...

17:18 - 17:19

Please, please, please... ...Closed!

17:19 - 17:23

All right, man!

17:23 - 17:25

( children cheering)

17:25 - 17:27

Wait, come back-- your hat!

17:27 - 17:29

Wear your galoshes!

17:29 - 17:30

Cowabunga!

17:30 - 17:33

Remember to take a break if your arms go numb.

17:33 - 17:34

Hey.

17:34 - 17:36

I heard you last night, Bart.

17:36 - 17:37

You prayed for this.

17:37 - 17:39

Now your prayers have been answered.

17:39 - 17:41

I'm no theologian.

17:41 - 17:43

I don't know who or what God is, exactly.

17:43 - 17:47

All I know is he's a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together

17:47 - 17:48

and you owe him big. (slams door closed)

17:48 - 17:50

You're right.

17:50 - 17:53

I asked for a miracle and I got it.

17:53 - 17:54

I got to study, man.

17:59 - 18:01

I'm not missing anything.

18:01 - 18:02

Frozen earlobes..

18:02 - 18:04

trudging up that stupid sled hill over and over again.

18:04 - 18:06

How good could it be?

18:06 - 18:09

( many happy voices buzzing)

18:19 - 18:22

I haven't had this much fun in years.

18:22 - 18:23

D-ahh!

18:23 - 18:25

Got you, Burnsie.

18:25 - 18:27

Why, you young ragamuffin.

18:27 - 18:30

I was never one to back away from a snowball fight.

18:30 - 18:32

Smithers, you may fire at will.

18:32 - 18:33

Certainly, sir.

18:33 - 18:35

( band music playing)

18:38 - 18:42

I hereby declare this day to be "Snow Day--

18:42 - 18:45

The funnest day in the history of Springfield."

18:45 - 18:47

( cheering)

18:47 - 18:51

♪ Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? ♪

18:51 - 18:54

♪ In the lane, snow is glistening ♪

18:54 - 18:58

♪ A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight ♪

18:58 - 19:01

♪ Walking in a winter wonderland ♪

19:01 - 19:05

♪ Gone away is the bluebird ♪

19:05 - 19:06

♪ Here to stay... ♪

19:09 - 19:12

Got to study, got to study, got to study!

19:15 - 19:18

"Chapter Six-- Four Days in Philadelphia.

19:18 - 19:19

"The first Continental Congress

19:19 - 19:20

"faced a difficult job.

19:20 - 19:24

"Could the delegates agree on recommendations

19:24 - 19:26

that all Americans could support?"

19:26 - 19:29

We hold these truths to be self-evident...

19:29 - 19:32

Bart: "We hold these truths to be self-evident."

19:32 - 19:34

...That all men are created equal.

19:34 - 19:35

"...created equal."

19:35 - 19:37

That from that equal creation

19:37 - 19:40

they derive rights, inherent and inalienable...

19:40 - 19:42

Look everybody-- it's snowing!

19:42 - 19:43

In the middle of July?

19:43 - 19:45

It's a miracle.

19:45 - 19:46

Fellows!

19:46 - 19:48

I've invented something fun: The sled!

19:48 - 19:51

( shouting and laughter)

19:51 - 19:56

founding father: Look everybody! John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!

19:60 - 20:01

( slapping)

20:01 - 20:04

Do you want to be held back a grade?

20:04 - 20:05

Concentrate, man!

20:05 - 20:07

( slapping)

20:14 - 20:15

Later, Mrs. K.

20:19 - 20:21

Please turn in your exam, Bart.

20:21 - 20:23

Class is over.

20:23 - 20:25

Do you think you could grade it now, please?

20:25 - 20:27

Well, all right.

20:27 - 20:29

Let me get "old red."

20:30 - 20:31

Mm-hmm.

20:31 - 20:32

Yup.

20:32 - 20:33

Mm-hmm.

20:33 - 20:34

Mm-hmm.

20:34 - 20:36

Well, Bart, it's a 59.

20:36 - 20:38

That's another "F."

20:38 - 20:39

Oh, no.

20:39 - 20:41

I can't believe it.

20:41 - 20:42

I know, I know.

20:42 - 20:43

Another year together.

20:43 - 20:46

Oh! It's going to be hell.

20:51 - 20:53

What's the matter?

20:53 - 20:56

I'd think you'd be used to failing by now.

20:56 - 20:58

No, you don't understand.

20:58 - 20:60

I really tried this time.

20:60 - 21:01

I mean, I really tried.

21:01 - 21:03

There, there.

21:03 - 21:07

This is as good as I can do and I still failed.

21:07 - 21:10

Well, a 59-- it's a high"F."

21:10 - 21:11

Who am I kidding?

21:11 - 21:13

I really am a failure.

21:13 - 21:15

Now I know

21:15 - 21:17

how George Washington felt

21:17 - 21:19

when he surrendered Fort Necessity

21:19 - 21:21

to the French in 1754.

21:21 - 21:22

What?

21:22 - 21:25

Oh you know, 1754-- the famous defeat to the French.

21:25 - 21:28

My God, Bart, you're right.

21:28 - 21:29

So?

21:29 - 21:29

You just demonstrated

21:29 - 21:31

applied knowledge

21:31 - 21:32

and due to the difficulty

21:32 - 21:34

and relative obscurity of the reference

21:34 - 21:38

you deserve an extra point on your exam. Hey, it's only fair.

21:38 - 21:40

You mean, I passed?

21:40 - 21:41

Just barely.

21:41 - 21:42

( gasps)

21:42 - 21:42

I passed.

21:42 - 21:44

I got a "D-".

21:44 - 21:45

I passed!

21:45 - 21:47

All right!

21:47 - 21:49

♪ I passed, I passed I passed! ♪

21:49 - 21:51

I got a "D-"!

21:51 - 21:52

I passed!

21:52 - 21:53

I got a "D-"!

21:53 - 21:53

I passed!

21:53 - 21:55

I got a "D-"!

21:55 - 21:55

I passed!

21:55 - 21:58

I passed! I...

21:58 - 22:00

Kissed the teacher!

22:06 - 22:08

We're proud of you, boy.

22:08 - 22:09

Thanks, Dad